10 Reasons I'm a Christian

In response to an e-mail from my last post on the CU, here are 10 reasons to be a Christian:

1) There is a God
2) Prayer doesn't hurt anyone
3) Far from it prayer is actually very good for you
4) Being spiritual is a good thing
5) It is sort of hard to disagree with anything Jesus said or did
6) Loving your neighbour as yourself is solution to most conflict
7) Jesus said 'if you follow me you'll find God'
8) Finding God is life in all it's fullness
9) Having a community around you helps
10) If God made you, taking him into account makes you more you

Of course this may not be your experience of religion or Christianity but it is the way I have lived my life and for me it has worked out. Which is why, without wanting to oppress you, or convert you, or make you into my clone, I would actually recommend this whole religion thing.

I have often expressed exasperation with Church and religion and all that, but in this post I just balance it a bit.

I do actually believe this one.

I'm not demanding everyone agrees with me. I'm very open to other people's point of view, I'm fully aware I could be wrong on a great many things. But I have found meaning within this narrative and I believe others could to...

Church of England Chaplain University of Southampton CU Christian Unions UCCF Christian Unions

Wanted...

So here we just on the cusp of Freshers week...Andy described it as the calm before the storm, but then that's just because he was bored.

This time last year I had just started in the job, my first day at work was actually the Monday before freshers week.

So this time last year I knew no students at all. I made myself a big sign to walk round campus with to emphasize that I was available for students and really wanted to know them as people. I wanted them to know I was open and friendly.



This year I was wondering about making another sign. Only I didn't know what to put on it. Then a student sent me this which I think answers the question.



I can tell by the smile on your face you agree with me.

Now all I have to do is find some paint.

Church of England Chaplain University of Southampton Wanted Mates Condoms Campus Southampton Finding Friends Freshers

OK I'm flummexed...

I've just spent hours trying to create a post blogger says it's there...

Its there if you click here

But its not appearing on my machine...can you see it????

The Party

As you can see there was a party.


People sat around and chatted...and got drunk...the photo above is of Alex (male) before he got really bladdered.





And here, for those of you who like onions, beetroot and all things pickled is Alex managing to look very pickled and yet elegant at the same time!



All in all fun was definately had by all. There was only one 'chaplaincy' moment all night when several people decided to slag off CU while drinking with me. One of the girls on our table looked a bit hurt and said "I'm in CU" in a hurt sort of way. In one sense I wish I had lept to their defence. I like CU we agree on all sorts of things, half of them go to Church with me on Sunday.

But instead of leaping to her/their defence I told her something. I said when I go round this University and say "Hello I'm your chaplain" I get a lot of different responses.

Like "What's a chaplain?" or "Is it your round?" and once "Look just fucking fuck off you total fucking c**t" but she was drunk!

But the number one thing people say to me when I say "I'm the chaplain" is....

"I hate the CU".

On one level it doesn't help to say that out loud, but on another I really want to address the issue of the bad image that the CU clearly has.

Still good party though. If you want a chaplain at your party drop me a line.

Church of England Chaplain University of Southampton CU Christian Unions UCCF Christian Unions Chaplain Party Party Chaplain

Alex's Party

So off I went to Alex's birthday party...This is a multiple blog recorded party, if you read the combined blogs of everyone who was there eventually you will work out what happened.

She had insisted on inappropriate dress for the evening so I had to go in my funeral gear.

So we all got merry and I had an authentic cartoon angel and devil moment when a rather good looking young girl came up to me and said:

"There are some things I need to achieve before I'm 20 and one of them is kissing a Vicar" which is quite clearly horse shit.

But funnily enough at that very moment the little 'devil me' appeared on my shoulder just like in Tom and Jerry and said "kiss her, kiss her, come on, it could be her birthday any day!" and then the little angle me appeared and said "No! resist temptation"

I squashed them both and offered her my cheek. Which she pecked and then run off giggling. Don't get me wrong I actually hate it when people do that to me. She was just objectivifying me. It's not flattering when someone doesn't actually engage with you as a person but just see's your dog collar. Its like having big tits. I'm a person dammit!

The rest of the party was fab! I spent a long time chatting to Alex (male) friend of Alex (female and birthday girl) and spent quite a bit of time talking shite with Alex (female birthday girl and friend of Alex) because Alex had been having a birthday for quite a long time by this point in the evening and was pickeled as Birthday girls are wont to be.

She was last seen (having had a very happy birthday) staggering up the stairs towards the way out in the Hobbit gently and carefully guided by hands who clearly knew the way home better than she did.

Photos to be published tomorrow.

Church of England Chaplain University of Southampton

Liberty Child

I've just been chatting to the president of the SU this year about volunteering he and I both agree that this should be something that the students should be involved in.

It is interesting that I have also had an e-mail today froma charity. I met someone who works for this charity at my last wedding.

The charity concerned is Liberty Child.

Seemed to be just the sort of thing to get students involved in.

In other news it seems that the New Tunnel Soc web site is going to be ready on time thanks to the intervention of a professional web designer. So now I just have to work on my 'other thing' but more of that tomorrow.

Time is ticking down at a rate of notts (or knotts I just don't know) but freshers is fast approaching...too much work not enough time. But not tonight as I am off down the pub with a bunch of what are now second years.

But more of that tomorrow no doubt.

Church of England Chaplain University of Southampton

Whitstable

I love web sites about little towns, maybe its that infectious love that people have for small towns. Maybe its the fact that if you don't live in a town then there is not much to say about it, but somehow little town web sites seem to say it!

Maybe its the fact that in a web full of highly polished information and big bussiness there are these little corners devoted to quaintness.

I have my own site How About it Biggleswade Dot Com which is part homage to small town web and part shrine to Bedfordshire market towns. It does need some work, but I haven't had the time to go to Biggleswade and put in the necessary work.

I've just returned from the delightful town of Whitstable where I have been supporting a student.

While searching for a decent Whitstable picture I found this web site.

What I like about it is the pictures of Whitstable in the snow, in the summer, at night, looking dark. And in the flood...yes our town floods and we're so proud of it just for that.

People love Whitstable and it gives you a nice glow inside just to know that doesn't it?

MONEY

I am currently in Whistable but more of that tomorrow....

Now I don't know about you but I hate being one of life's losers. So it's a good job I've just become a millionaire according to this e-mail recieved this morning...

EMAIL AWARD NOTICE!!!
SKY-LO INTERNATIONAL ONLINE E-GAMES
Lotto Winners of 1,500,000.00 Euros
Ref. Number: 35149/337-5247/LN1
Coupon Number: NL132478

ELECTRONIC MAIL AWARD WINNING NOTIFICATION

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

We are pleased to inform you of the announcement today of winners of the SKY-LO ONLINE E-GAMES LOTTERY POGRAMS held on 10th September 2006.Your Company or your personal e-mail address is attached to winning number 20-01-2005-02MSW, with serial number S/N-00168 drew the lucky numbers 887-13-865-37-10-83, and consequently won in the first lottery category.

You have therefore been approved for a lump sum pay out of One Million Five Hundred Thousand EUROS (1,500,000.00) in cash credited to file REF NO: 35149/337-5247/LN1 and Coupon NO.NL132478.

This is from total prize money of 10,687,000 EUROS, shared among the Twenty international winners in this category.

All participants were selected through our Microsoft computer ballot system drawn form 21,000 names, 3,000 names from each continent, as part of International "E-MAIL" Promotions Program, which is conducted once in every four years for our prominent MS WORD user all over the world,and for the continues use of E-mail.

Your fund has been deposited in an escrow account with our affiliate Bank here in NETHERLAND, and insured with your REF NO: 35149/337-5247/LN1 and your E-mail address.

You are to keep your ref. number and coupon number from the public, until you have been processed and your money remitted to your personal account.We hope with your prize, you will be happy to promote the use of E-mail and the use of MS WORD.

To claim your winning prize, you must first contact the claims department by email or call for processing and remittance of your prize money to you.Your assigned claims Director contact is:

MR.JAMES KELLER
GERTENBACHSTAAT 90
1106 WC AMSTERDAM
THE NETHERLAND
TEL: +31-644-911-684
FAX:+31-847-262-754
Email:claimsdirector33@netscape.net

He is to help you in claiming your due prize. Remember, all prize money must be claimed not later than the 1st October, 2006. All funds not claimed on or before the fixed date will be penalized accordingly.

NOTE: In order to avoid unnecessary delays and complications, please remember to quote your reference and coupon numbers in all correspondences with your claims director.All response should be sent to claimsdirector33@netscape.net

Sincerely,

Mrs. Edsilia Simon
For SKY-LO E-GAMES, NETHERLAND.

What's fab about this is I don't even remember entering this competition.

As part of my prize I have to promote the use of e-mail which is fair enough because they wouldn't give you something for nothing would they. That would just be a scam, and a fairly obvious one at that!

So if you're reading this STOP! Send your mother an e-mail NOW!

Right I'm off to buy shoes...





Gosh that last line was camp.



Church of England Chaplain University of Southampton

Airplanes

So I'm like sitting in the Chaplain's office at Solent University and I realsie I'm starting to really like this guy...I think he's going to make a good chaplain.

He is relaxed and just generally nice guy to be around.



Unfortunantly he blogs. Save me from blogging chaplains... what a crap idea! But I found his blog and it includes loads of pictures of his house which he describes as (and I quote) 'a shit hole'. His predecessor lived in a much nicer house, until someone who was about to be appointed as Chaplain at the University of Southampton complained that his house wasn't very good and was then moved to the 'Solent Chaplain's House'. I'm not laughing really!









He hates bars and smoking and drinking. So I'm not sure how that works what with him being a chaplain and all. But I think he could be a mate

But where do you take someone who doesn't like bars????

"What do you like doing?" I asked.
"Oh" he says with a smile leaning back on his chair "I love airports"
"Airports?" I say.
"Yeah they're great! You can go to look at the planes and all the shops and if you're sad you can go to departures and just be sad there with all the sad people and if you're happy you go to arrivals and everyone is happy with you and some of them have monorails and great coffee, and you can look round."
Wow! Its just so captivating listening to other people's passions and interests and seeing the world the way they do.

Then I heard someone say "So do you actually have any friends then?" and realised with horror that it was me. Oh crap! It just slipped out!

In a frenzied attempt at damage limitation I hastily added "...I mean in Southampton, what with you being new to the area and all."

He didn't look too offended so I guess I got away with it. Phew!!!

Church of England Chaplain University of Southampton Solent University Southampton Plane Spotting Hobbies

Chaplain's Welcome

I popped off yesterday to say an big hello to a new Chaplain.

It was the official welcome to the New Chaplain at the Dimst...Southampton Solent University.

Now Southampton Solent University is, like Southampton University,in Southampton. Nowhere near the Solent really. It is a little newer than The University of Southampton being as it recieved it's royal charter in 2005 and according to the Times University Guide 2006 it has made it in to the top 107 of British Universities.

The only problem is parking because it is located in the City centre. I had to park miles away and then discoved to my horror that I only had a £1 coin on me together with a ten pound note. I begged several strangers for change to no avail and then decided to put in my pound which gave me an hours parking.

I ran there went to the welcome and ran back. 1 hour 10 minutes.



Now I was a bit upset with this fine until I looked closly and discovered with joy the fact that Southampton City Council are having a sale on illegal parking at the moment. Look at it! I should go and get yourself some illegal parking right now, you wont see prices like this again.

50% off!

Bargin!!

Church of England Chaplain University of Southampton Solent University Southampton Parking Southampton City Council

You Tube

I've just found the Stewart Lee thing on You Tube. I could embed it here but that might be an act of pure narcissism so I'll let you find it all by yourself...

I also feel like I should say something about the events in the news...but just how do you do that without causing offense? Clearly it needs some thought. Not that 'giving it some thought' will help, I'm fairly sure the Pope sat down and considered what he was going to say in advance.

I've been reading the forums on what one right wing commentator called a 'radical Islamic website' today The Muslim Public Affairs Committee I've found it quite interesting and I recommend you head over there.

I want to say something but I want to consider it...not because I'm afraid of offending people but because I want to be clear so people can be offended by what I think rather than what they think I think.

Church of England Chaplain University of Southampton

It's not what you say it's the place that you say it.

I came into work today and discovered that someone (presumably with an interest in finding love in the Catholic Church) has put up a poster.



Its positioning is a little unfortunate as it does seem to suggest that my catholic colleague is...

well a bit lonely.

Church of England Chaplain University of Southampton

All NEW!!!

The University is waking up for a new year...

There is a buzz about everything getting ready

New seats outside the Stag's head (a new apostrophe in the words 'Stag's Head')



New steps outside the SU



Even chaplaincy has had a makeover, though the door still looks crap!



The back garden is just about to get a makeover from the Estates Dept. I have been caught by the newness bug and so today I have done what I have been meaning to do since I got back at the beginning of September: I have, with the loving care of the raising of the Mary Rose, finally moved the Boldrewood Tunnel Soc web site. This effects the back end (the bit I see) not the bit you see. Then having moved it I covered the new bit in virtual scaffolding in order to begin work on the new tunnel soc site which hopefully should be up and running by next term...

There is also some room left for something else...

Church of England Chaplain University of Southampton

Autumn Clean

I decided to sort my computer out today. After owning it for 6 years.

There wasn't a lot wrong with it it just felt a bit slow.

Turns out my computer had more viruses than some old prozzy with a nasty case of the clap and more trojans than the vending machine in the gents.

Having cleared that lot out my hard drive now has room for another 6 gigs of data. Yes 6 GIGS!

Whoops!

Church of England Chaplain Simon Stevens Yellow Virus

End of a strange week...

Well here I am one week back at work...

It was a strange week back I can tell you. I spent a lot of the first day crying if truth be told...

but then I had to summon up some positivism and inject some of that into a wedding, 'in the midst of death we are in life' I found myself thinking. And then I went off on the annual chaplains' conference...

Having been on two chaplains' conferences now I have a theory that chaplaincy nationally is going through something of a crisis...or at least is suffering from a bit of low-self-esteem. I was struck last year with a sort of resentment towards Christian Unions which I felt from some chaplains. It seemed to me that they were feeling that they were clever liberals who had worked out their intellectual faith and then along came the CU with what they saw as a bunch of fundamentalist-flat-earth claptrap and students signed up in droves.

How dare students be so stupid!

Of course the fact that CU is a tad lively and has a bit of direction might help them on the numbers front but personally I don't see myself as in competition with them. There are probably times when I am wrong and CU is right. Who knows?

Maybe there are times when I am right and CU is wrong...I'm not sure. I'm going to check the UCCF website later to see if this is possible.

At the conference I kept thinking about the numbers as person after person made a comment to the effect that Chaplaincy was not about getting students to turn up but rather about Christianizing the university by getting staff to refect on values. In the end I asked the key not speaker if numbers were ever important. She dismissed me with a a simple 'No'.

Afterwards I reflected with another chaplain about numbers and we were drawn to a bit of the Bible which seems to talk about the numbers, the bit about the lost sheep which is at the beginning of Luke 15 (for those of you who like to open your Bibles). This basically says if you have 100 sheep and then when you count them one night there are only 99, you go and find the other one. (Because sheep are quite expensive - if you're a shepherd.) And there it is in black and white. Numbers are important.

Not in the sense that you need to count them, no because I recon that someone with 99 sheep is the mac daddy of shepherds, no in the sense of caring for each and every one.

All of which bought me back to where my week began.

There are 20,000 students at the University of Southampton and right now the bulk of my emotional energy is directed at just one of them.

2 minutes down 13 to go...

According to Andy while I was away on my conference I was on the tele.

It seems they finally got round to broadcasting Stewart Lee's programme. This was a surprise as I didn't know it was going out.

Did anyone see it? I missed it because they didn't seem to have tele-time on the conference timetable.

If you saw it let me know what you thought.

Church of England Chaplain Simon Stevens Yellow Stewart Lee Channel 5

Chaplains' conference 2006

So they sent me off to York for a conference...as it happens on the campus of a very new University: York St John's University. So new in fact that it isn't even a University for another two weeks...but you could be reading this by then.

Obviously making me live in a hall of residence was just FAB! No really! It took me right back and will help me relate to this years freshers. Honest living in halls is just the best thing in the world ever. Sharing a loo with 8 other people. Remembering to take your room key in the shower. Loosing your room key. Phoning security and having them make lots of jokes about you being on your way to a toga party as they let you back in.

This is the view from my room.

If you are a fresher at York St John's and you get B3 in LMW (Lord Mayor's Walk) then this is your view. Enjoy it. I'm sorry I made your wardrobe stink with my minging shoes. It being a hall of residence I was delighted to find that some jolly japer of a student had rearranged the sign outside the door from 'Room Numbers' to 'Poo Nose'. How unspeakably witty!



Further evidence of student wit was to be found in the YSJ 'Anti-litter campaign' fronted by the 'Pick it Up Girls'

There are obviously very conscientious. Though if this is what girls look like at York St John's I'm not surprised that only 20% of their students are blokes.



The Anglican Chaplain at York St J's is a real Jem while the Catholic chaplain is...come on you can finish this one off, can't you? You don't need me to do the joke for you.



Now you're probably wondering how I got on...well first things first if you are one of those people who hates sharing a bath mat then YSJU is definately for you.


I found this notice a touch worrying. I'm not sure that York is exactly a centre for Bird Flu so its probably just a precaution!


There were tea and coffee making facilities but sadly no trouser press.




The according to the notice (yes there was a notice) "The Kettle Switches off Automatically when the water reaches the correct temprature and emits a high pitched sound."

No sound.

One word:

Dissapointing.

Church of England Chaplain Simon Stevens Yellow York

Another day

So back to the office...life goes on another Saturday and another wedding and then joy of joys I'm off to York for the Annual Chaplains' chin wag of a conference.

Being as this is the anti-blogging blog...you'll no doubt realise my utter elation when I discovered the orgainisers are going to blog the conference...no seriously they are...

Don't tell me. Conferences there a bit like Jesus, aren't they?

Did Jesus ever share a bathroom with 50 other people????

Church of England Chaplain Simon Stevens Yellow Bathroom Conference

Work...

I came back to work today. I said some prayers and then checked my e-mails. I had 36 unread. Not bad for August. The first one I opened was from a student who wanted me to pray.

She had some tragic news.

I had come in today to work on the Boldrewood Tunnel Soc web page, but instead I just sat.

For a while I felt crap.



Then I went downstairs and lit a candle and I thought about the God who is light and in whom there is no darkness at all.

And I spent some time praying for my student and her family.

I'd like it if you did that too.