Existential thought for the day...
YOU are insignificant
Wikipedia does not have an entry on you...
It does have one on 'Butt Crack'
Sorry about that.
Wikipedia does not have an entry on you...
It does have one on 'Butt Crack'
Sorry about that.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Friday, April 27, 2007
A is for Amnesty International
So it is now like a military operation.
7.01 pm In my office I hear of the Amnesty Night
7.02 pm I decide to go
7.03 pm I am already in the catholic chaplains office warming the Chaplaincy laminator
(the red power light is lit)
7.14 pm The chaplaincy laminator begins to approach warm
7.15 pm I return to my office to print and sign a 'Big Tick' Certificate.
7.25 pm The laminator green light comes on to indicate it is now hot enough to laminate
7.26 pm I laminate the certificate.
And I'm out the door.
I've got to the point now when I just want to get the tick. It's not pretty. It's down and dirty. In and out as quick as possible. Tick, tick, tick. Just back to bone.
Tonight it's a party. I arrive in the room and clock the Society president. I make my way towards him simultaneously removing the laminated certificate from my bag as I do. I hand him the certificate and request a photo. He summons the troops. Photo taken certificate delivered, and we're done.
It was then I noticed it was a party.
I thought to myself...hey this is a party.
They had thrown on some fine entertainment. African dancing they had a display of their work, everyone seemed to be having fun. So I stayed. Green Action also had a display about what they were doing. Bit of live music, yeah pretty good night.
Of course this wasn't your standard student party. This was thrown to raise awareness of need for greater women's rights and particularly focusing on the rights of women in Zimbabwe and there was a fantastic turn out they filled the bar.
Once again just when I had accepted student apathy as a fact someone came along and challenged it. Some students are just in for the cheap beer and a job at the end, others actually want to do something bigger than that. Student Amnesty are just such a group.
I stayed and enjoyed myself. I really wanted to be part of the society but as the evening came to a close my job was done and like The Littest Hobo at the end of the episode it was time for me to go. This, after all, is not a journey anyone can join me on. My path is a lonely one. I didn't know where it was heading, but I knew where ever I went next there were probably going to be students.
I pulled my coat tight around me and headed off into the night...
...alone.
Amnesty: Unchained Tick
Church of England Chaplain University of Southampton The Big Tick Southampton University University Soton Uni Amnesty International
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
The phone rang...
“Hello” says the man from the Guardian “I’m from the Guardian”
“Hello.” I reply.
“Were you standing in Downing Street when Tony Blair first arrived there?” he asks.
“Yes.” I reply.
“Good I was hoping so. What were you doing there?” he asks.
“Well” I replied “I was sort of hoping to see Mr Blair.”
“And you did?” he asks.
“Yes” I reply “He was with Cherie”
“OK” he said “Can I interview you about that?”
“Yes” I reply.
So he did.
“Thanks” he said.
“That’s alright.” I replied. “Goodbye.”
“Goodbye” He said “Oh... and I’m going to send a photographer round.”
“Right-ho” I replied and went to get my hair cut.
It was sunny.
“Hello.” I reply.
“Were you standing in Downing Street when Tony Blair first arrived there?” he asks.
“Yes.” I reply.
“Good I was hoping so. What were you doing there?” he asks.
“Well” I replied “I was sort of hoping to see Mr Blair.”
“And you did?” he asks.
“Yes” I reply “He was with Cherie”
“OK” he said “Can I interview you about that?”
“Yes” I reply.
So he did.
“Thanks” he said.
“That’s alright.” I replied. “Goodbye.”
“Goodbye” He said “Oh... and I’m going to send a photographer round.”
“Right-ho” I replied and went to get my hair cut.
It was sunny.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Hmmmmm
Still recovering.
But better.
Today I watched the finals of a local student comedy competition. I have been wondering around the last few weeks trying to write some material before I book myself an open mike spot. Being funny with a group of friends seems to be a world away from writing comedy.
I'm trying to see what the problem is. My guess is relationships. In a sense it is easy to make your friends laugh because they know and like you, but to stand up in front of an audience and achieve the same is much harder simply because you do it cold. You have to find a way of engaging them very quickly. That has got to be the most difficult bit. More difficult than writing 'funny'. Actually getting an audience on your side enough to laugh at you within two seconds.
How do you write stuff that is that engaging?
Someone said I should just write about what I know. But I'm not convinced that the world needs or wants Vicar stand up.
Anyway I'm just trying to write at the moment. Not like on paper...in my head, after all this is stand up not a novel.
Of one thing I am certain. I'm a long way off booking my slot.
But better.
Today I watched the finals of a local student comedy competition. I have been wondering around the last few weeks trying to write some material before I book myself an open mike spot. Being funny with a group of friends seems to be a world away from writing comedy.
I'm trying to see what the problem is. My guess is relationships. In a sense it is easy to make your friends laugh because they know and like you, but to stand up in front of an audience and achieve the same is much harder simply because you do it cold. You have to find a way of engaging them very quickly. That has got to be the most difficult bit. More difficult than writing 'funny'. Actually getting an audience on your side enough to laugh at you within two seconds.
How do you write stuff that is that engaging?
Someone said I should just write about what I know. But I'm not convinced that the world needs or wants Vicar stand up.
Anyway I'm just trying to write at the moment. Not like on paper...in my head, after all this is stand up not a novel.
Of one thing I am certain. I'm a long way off booking my slot.
Saturday, April 21, 2007
YEAUCK
Today...
...I have been mostly ill. Which is just about the worst way to spend your day off.
I came home yesterday and tried to eat dinner and then half way through gave up. I just didn't feel hungry. I stood up and realised that I was unbelievably dizzy.
I thought it was just going to pass but then I started to ache all over and 20 minutes latter I was laying on the bed in my office in two jumpers and under two blankets shivering.
I feel very weak and I haven't eaten anything nearly 24 hours. My joints really ache.
Maybe I'm going to be taking some time off.
I'm not complaining mind. Much I mean. What is interesting is that I haven't felt ill like this before. I don't feel sick. I don't have a head ache. I just feel really spaced out achy and weak. It feels like I'm at the end of a long corridor and reality is at the other end. Or that like everything is on a time delay. It's a bit like taking drugs. Only not fun. If I was a germ tourist this would be interesting but I'm not really an experience junky so I guess it's just crap.
I was going to tick show stoppers today too.
Rats.
...I have been mostly ill. Which is just about the worst way to spend your day off.
I came home yesterday and tried to eat dinner and then half way through gave up. I just didn't feel hungry. I stood up and realised that I was unbelievably dizzy.
I thought it was just going to pass but then I started to ache all over and 20 minutes latter I was laying on the bed in my office in two jumpers and under two blankets shivering.
I feel very weak and I haven't eaten anything nearly 24 hours. My joints really ache.
Maybe I'm going to be taking some time off.
I'm not complaining mind. Much I mean. What is interesting is that I haven't felt ill like this before. I don't feel sick. I don't have a head ache. I just feel really spaced out achy and weak. It feels like I'm at the end of a long corridor and reality is at the other end. Or that like everything is on a time delay. It's a bit like taking drugs. Only not fun. If I was a germ tourist this would be interesting but I'm not really an experience junky so I guess it's just crap.
I was going to tick show stoppers today too.
Rats.
Friday, April 20, 2007
P is for Pagan Soc
It was a dark night. A dark, dark night. A dark wintry night at the end of the spring term. It was raining and the wind blew a chill through my very soul as the thunder clapped loudly in the sky. OK I'm lying. It was just a bit cold and wet but I'm setting the scene for you. For this night was the night I joined the Pagan Soc.
“Now what exactly do Pagans do?” I hear you cry. Well clearly you don’t have access to the internet. Pagan soc are part of the pagan revival that is usually associated with the name of Gerald Gardner ex civil servant and 1950s witch chronicler.
They asked me to meet them in the pub which is something many student societies ask me to do. With Pagan Soc things were a bit different. We met in the Hobbit. Southampton’s premier Lord of the Rings tribute pub. No really (Random fact: The pub has probably the largest beer garden in Hampshire). Once inside it took a moment for eyes to adjust to the light. Then I saw them. They were all wearing black. I noticed one of them was drinking what looked like a magic potion. Dark green and in a pint glass. I haven’t come across this many clichés since Conservative Soc.
I collect my lime and lemonade and get back to engaging with paganism. Nick is president. He is an American and a ship scientist. He has a lovely wife who is also an American and a Pagan but knows sod all about ships. A good job too. 'His' and 'hers' Ship Science is only going make a marriage go stale, let’s be honest.
With barely concealed premeditation I turned the conversation round to paganism.
“Tell me about Paganism” I said.
Turns out there is as many paganisms as there are pagans. Some of them worship Odin some of them are into mother earth. One of the members avoids my gaze so I ask her what her religion is. She isn’t really religious, she explains, she is doing archaeology and just likes old religions.
“I’m not really a member of this society” one of the other circus soc people says.
Wow! I was hoping it was going to be all evil and here it is drinking down the hobbit with a bunch of apathetics! Still Nick and his wife are really, really pagan.
I tell them all about the Big Tick. I explain it is the most fun you can have with hundreds of students. They nod. They know about fun.
“Now I know you’re thinking” I go on warming to my subject “you're thinking that the big tick isn’t the most fun you can have hundreds of people, that’s an orgy, clearly, but it isn’t. No, because despite what everyone thinks actually it is impossible to organise an orgy with hundreds of people, I mean for a start there is the whole question of venue and then of course the organisation of the evening would be a nightmare with that number. I think realistically an orgy is the most fun you can have with 20 people tops. If you want any more fun than that it’s gotta be the big tick.”
I stop and realise that Pagan Soc shocked. They came out for a quiet drink and here they are listening to a minister of religion discuss the logistics of one night multiple partner sex. I’m shocked too. It’s then I realise the truth. They’ve done something to me. They’ve lulled me into a false sense of security with their apathy and then somehow they have made me discuss lewdness against my will.
I’m guessing magic.
There is only one thing for it: Another drink
The evening continues. We discuss various topics. Among them: The difficulty of finding virgins to sacrifice in a University enviroment and future combined events with CU. These two topics are completely unrelated
Pagan Soc: They wear black clothing, they drink in the hobbit and they can control my mind by remote. If that strikes you as fun you should definately join.
Pagan Soc. Not one tick….but many!
Church of England Chaplain University of Southampton Odin The Big Tick Southampton University University Soton Uni Paganism
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Recap
Ok I need to explain the next post, because it's been a while and some people might not have read this before the holidays.
This is a simple story and it starts in someone's office. Basically a Church Minister challenged me to take part in an activity with as many student societies as possible in a year (give or take) he said he would donate a sum to the charity of my choice.
Then I met someone who worked for a local charity. She asked me to do something for her charity.
So that's what I did. So now I'm going to post the story of what happened next. Not directly nexct because actually there have been 20 societies since then and so 20 stories (the bit over there on the right marked archives may interest you at this point - or not...no pressure) no I'm going to tell you what happened next 21 societies later.
I'm going to do that tomorrow. I thought I should just tell you that.
It was pagans.
They were next.
This is a simple story and it starts in someone's office. Basically a Church Minister challenged me to take part in an activity with as many student societies as possible in a year (give or take) he said he would donate a sum to the charity of my choice.
Then I met someone who worked for a local charity. She asked me to do something for her charity.
So that's what I did. So now I'm going to post the story of what happened next. Not directly nexct because actually there have been 20 societies since then and so 20 stories (the bit over there on the right marked archives may interest you at this point - or not...no pressure) no I'm going to tell you what happened next 21 societies later.
I'm going to do that tomorrow. I thought I should just tell you that.
It was pagans.
They were next.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Hokies
"I worry about a culture that devalues life, and I believe as your President I have an obligation to foster and encourage respect for life in America and throughout the world" George W. BushI worry.
I worry that debate in this world is polarised (yes I know I promised not to comment on national events but I am a hypocrite).
Today once again I go to work on a University Campus, that is remarkably similar to Virginia Tech and my thoughts are obviously once again with them. However when I look on the Internet when I get the news from the US and the UK I see a polarisation of opinion. It seems that either you feel 100% that gun control is the answer or you feel 100% that it is not. In this country most people think gun control is the answer.
I don't.
I don't think gun control is the answer.
I think there is a deeper malaise in both our countries. (There have been a spate of shootings in South London, so get off that self righteous hobby horse Brits, this affects both of us) I believe the problem here is a question of values.
First of all we value fame, attention and celebrity. Think about it if I told you how many hits this website has got in the year it has existed, you would judge me. If I told you I had got 20,000 you might be impressed if I said 2,000,000 you'd pay very close attention. If I said 200 I would loose your respect. I'm not going to tell you. Judge me on my words.
This love of fame is fed by a media which is more concerned with it than debate. It's not their fault - fame sells. However because of this events feed off each other. There would have been no 7/7 without 9/11. If you can't be famous, then be infamous. Without Columbine there would have been no Virginia Tech. Have a look at the calender.
Look in the mirror. Ask yourself. Do I value fame? Do I want as much attention as possible? (Hint if you are a blogger the answer to this one is 'yes') if so question that.
But it is not just that. It is also what President Bush likes to think of as a culture of life. What I want to call the unconditional recognition of 'other'. I believe we live in a world that does not recognise the other. Does not value it. Increasingly we only form relationships because they are in our best interests. We have to learn to value people and to do that we have to know them. The one thing we now know about Cho Seung-Hui is that he had no friends. Instead of focusing on the global and the media driven we need to focus on the local. Love your neighbour as someone famous once said.
When we recognise that each and every individual is of value these things will stop. That is why whenever a state abolishes capital punishment the murder rates actually fall. That is why the murder rate is actually higher in South Dakota which has capital punishment than North Dakota which does not. President Bush believes a culture of life rules out abortion. I believe it rules out Capital punishment for the same reason. When the state values the life of murderers, others respect life also, and murder rates fall.
I think that having a arms trade as a matter of national pride, as both the US and UK do also devalues life. Here I am just repeating what Mark Thomas and Michael Moore have said much better than I.
There is one final point I want to make.
In the UK we have the most draconian gun laws in the world. Yet we still have gun crime. The deaths of five young men in gang related violence have been all over the news in the last month.
Now I don't know how many Americans have died in gang related gun crime in the last month.
If it is more than five then gun control has to be part of the solution.
Church of England Chaplain University of Southampton Virginia Tech University Hokies
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Today in Chaplaincy...
We talked about Virginia Tech.
Obviously we would wouldn't we. We thought a lot about how our campus is different. Like the fact we don't have armed police here and no student has ever been involved in a gun related incident.
But I find myself thinking of the staff, students and parents. In a small way I can relate. Only in a small way.
This is a world away. In more ways than one.
Church of England Chaplain University of Southampton
Obviously we would wouldn't we. We thought a lot about how our campus is different. Like the fact we don't have armed police here and no student has ever been involved in a gun related incident.
But I find myself thinking of the staff, students and parents. In a small way I can relate. Only in a small way.
This is a world away. In more ways than one.
Church of England Chaplain University of Southampton
Sunday, April 15, 2007
You You YOU
I have to say this there is a problem in the blogosphere. People aren't taking themselves seriously enough.
I was alerted to this problem by an article on Guardian Unlimited by Jonathan Freedland.
He reports on the need for a code of conduct for bloggers and those who comment on them. He compares the land of blogging to a public meeting on Iraq which is getting out of hand. Herein lies the problem. People are not taking themselves seriously enough. Taking yourself too seriously is what blogging is all about. That is what makes it truly wonderful.
Too many bloggers are trying to be journalists. Too many bloggers are writing about Iraq. Once again I am a total hypocrite having written about Iraq only last week. Read back what I had to say and you will see it's really not worth worrying about. Just a basic 'why didn't we think more before going in'. The journalistic equivalent of a tut.
Look! Real journalism is exemplified by Alan Johnston. Here is a journalist who not only worked in Gaza he actually chose to live there. Let's hope he gets to live there again. The mainstream media are not perfect but they are quite well informed and the only reason not to listen to them is because you've watched one too many '9/11 Truth' videos on youtube (if President Bush was capable of organizing 9/11 then the war in Iraq would be easy).
Let the mainstream media report on Iraq and then Bloggers can get back to doing what they do best. Talking about themselves.
Think about all the best blogs and they involve the same stuff individuals talking about their lives. Their Bilingual toddlers. Their life in Norfolk. The fact they like to tie up good looking men. I don't know what it's like to do any of that stuff so I read.
It's time we got away from all this serious debate. Let's just have fun. Just tell me about you. That's all. Make it fun, my life is miserable enough as it is. The Internet has lost it's sense of fun. That is really why people are getting comments threatening them with death because it's all got serious and if someone is a popular blogger then other people who haven't got as many hits will just get all bitter and if they can't get their own stuff on Iraq read they'll just leave hateful comments on someone else's website.
Forget about other people. Make. This. About. You.
I don't write this for people to read – oh I do except that some people do read this regularly, and I#d like to take this opportunity to thank both of you- I write this because I love writing. Don't worry if something newsworthy happens in my patch, I'll tell you.
Even though I'm crap at it because I can't spell and I have no idea how to 'do' grammar.
So. Internet. Tell me something about you. Or just take a photo out of the window of the place where you blog. A place which is mundane to you but I will never see without your help – you see that's what matters in this global world: The local. Then send me a link. Use the comments or e-mail it to me (it's not hard to find my e-mail address when you know what I do for a living) we can collect them all in one place and it'll be just like the Gallery on Tony Hart's old programme from when I was a kid.
If you can't take a photo out of the window because you are an anonymous blogger then take a piccy of a small detail of your home. Like a plug. Even that will tell me a little bit about you.
For example this suggests an unmarried person: Single appliance and neutral wall colouring.
While this is more suggestive of a couple with kids.
Seriously Internet, if you've ever loved me, you'll do this one small thing for me.
Go and have fun and play nicely.
Oh and yes I do go round other people's houses and take photos of their plugs. I'm a blogger and I carry a camera everywhere.
Church of England Chaplain University of Southampton
I was alerted to this problem by an article on Guardian Unlimited by Jonathan Freedland.
He reports on the need for a code of conduct for bloggers and those who comment on them. He compares the land of blogging to a public meeting on Iraq which is getting out of hand. Herein lies the problem. People are not taking themselves seriously enough. Taking yourself too seriously is what blogging is all about. That is what makes it truly wonderful.
Too many bloggers are trying to be journalists. Too many bloggers are writing about Iraq. Once again I am a total hypocrite having written about Iraq only last week. Read back what I had to say and you will see it's really not worth worrying about. Just a basic 'why didn't we think more before going in'. The journalistic equivalent of a tut.
Look! Real journalism is exemplified by Alan Johnston. Here is a journalist who not only worked in Gaza he actually chose to live there. Let's hope he gets to live there again. The mainstream media are not perfect but they are quite well informed and the only reason not to listen to them is because you've watched one too many '9/11 Truth' videos on youtube (if President Bush was capable of organizing 9/11 then the war in Iraq would be easy).
Let the mainstream media report on Iraq and then Bloggers can get back to doing what they do best. Talking about themselves.
Think about all the best blogs and they involve the same stuff individuals talking about their lives. Their Bilingual toddlers. Their life in Norfolk. The fact they like to tie up good looking men. I don't know what it's like to do any of that stuff so I read.
It's time we got away from all this serious debate. Let's just have fun. Just tell me about you. That's all. Make it fun, my life is miserable enough as it is. The Internet has lost it's sense of fun. That is really why people are getting comments threatening them with death because it's all got serious and if someone is a popular blogger then other people who haven't got as many hits will just get all bitter and if they can't get their own stuff on Iraq read they'll just leave hateful comments on someone else's website.
Forget about other people. Make. This. About. You.
I don't write this for people to read – oh I do except that some people do read this regularly, and I#d like to take this opportunity to thank both of you- I write this because I love writing. Don't worry if something newsworthy happens in my patch, I'll tell you.
Even though I'm crap at it because I can't spell and I have no idea how to 'do' grammar.
So. Internet. Tell me something about you. Or just take a photo out of the window of the place where you blog. A place which is mundane to you but I will never see without your help – you see that's what matters in this global world: The local. Then send me a link. Use the comments or e-mail it to me (it's not hard to find my e-mail address when you know what I do for a living) we can collect them all in one place and it'll be just like the Gallery on Tony Hart's old programme from when I was a kid.
If you can't take a photo out of the window because you are an anonymous blogger then take a piccy of a small detail of your home. Like a plug. Even that will tell me a little bit about you.
For example this suggests an unmarried person: Single appliance and neutral wall colouring.
While this is more suggestive of a couple with kids.
Seriously Internet, if you've ever loved me, you'll do this one small thing for me.
Go and have fun and play nicely.
Oh and yes I do go round other people's houses and take photos of their plugs. I'm a blogger and I carry a camera everywhere.
Church of England Chaplain University of Southampton
Friday, April 13, 2007
10 Years on
I'm on holiday and I'm supposed to be catching up on old friends. Which I've been very bad about. Still went to C & A's house the other day then phoned Bethnall Green Dave. I also remembered to e-mail Matthew.
Matthew was my closest friend when I was at University.
He wanted to be a priest. He would have been a good one too. He made me laugh and not many priests do that. Then he discovered something he wanted more than being a priest.
Cock.
Now he works in a bank.
He dreams of finding a nice man and settling down. He keeps shagging screwed up lapsed catholics. It's bad for the soul. I remember sitting up in Matthew's room chatting for hours and hours about total shite till the early hours. I remember Matthew taking the piss out of every lecturer we ever had. I can't remember him ever doing any work. I can remember him getting off with two priests and a young seminarian. I remember Matthew finding this great guy. Medical student. I remember when they broke up. I took his ex-boyfriend down the pub. I remember someone saying we made a great couple. I think what he was wearing gave it away.
It has been 10 years since I was a student with Matthew. It feels like 10 years ago. I don't have that "Where did that go???" feeling. Maybe because I have packed in quite a bit into the last 10 years. I graduated in the summer of 1997. It wasn't the last time I was a student. I went back a year latter for another 3 years. This time there was no Matthew. He didn't do enough work first time round!
This time 10 years ago I was just coming back from the Easter holidays for my last term and was preparing for my finals. I was also considering cutting off all my hair because I was fed up with it being so long. 10 years ago I stopped worrying about what I was going to do with the rest of my life because I had offered myself for ordination and had just been accepted. Even at that point I had my doubts. Funnily enough the things I worried about have worked out just fine. It's other things that make me question my vocation now.
10 years ago Tony Blair was the popular leader of the opposition and John Major 'led' the country. Finally enough almost exactly 10 years ago I was stood in Downing Street when Tony Blair first arrived. That was the 2nd May. 10 years ago I spent my summer counting cars for a traffic survey firm and then moved to Paris. That was August 1997. 5 days after I arrived Princess Diana died. 10 minutes after I walked over the bridge above the underpass. Maybe it was longer. It was a while ago.
I find that history makes a person, and it is the people in that history that change who they are. So there you have a modicum of my personal history. My closest friend at uni walked away from Church because he is gay.
He's organising a re-union this year.
Could be fun. I suspect they'll be some shite spoken.
We'll think about what happened 10 years ago.
It's only scary when you realise at the time most of my students were busy falling in love with Gary Barlow and watching Saturday morning tele.
Church of England Chaplain University of Southampton Blair Tony Blair
Matthew was my closest friend when I was at University.
He wanted to be a priest. He would have been a good one too. He made me laugh and not many priests do that. Then he discovered something he wanted more than being a priest.
Cock.
Now he works in a bank.
He dreams of finding a nice man and settling down. He keeps shagging screwed up lapsed catholics. It's bad for the soul. I remember sitting up in Matthew's room chatting for hours and hours about total shite till the early hours. I remember Matthew taking the piss out of every lecturer we ever had. I can't remember him ever doing any work. I can remember him getting off with two priests and a young seminarian. I remember Matthew finding this great guy. Medical student. I remember when they broke up. I took his ex-boyfriend down the pub. I remember someone saying we made a great couple. I think what he was wearing gave it away.
It has been 10 years since I was a student with Matthew. It feels like 10 years ago. I don't have that "Where did that go???" feeling. Maybe because I have packed in quite a bit into the last 10 years. I graduated in the summer of 1997. It wasn't the last time I was a student. I went back a year latter for another 3 years. This time there was no Matthew. He didn't do enough work first time round!
This time 10 years ago I was just coming back from the Easter holidays for my last term and was preparing for my finals. I was also considering cutting off all my hair because I was fed up with it being so long. 10 years ago I stopped worrying about what I was going to do with the rest of my life because I had offered myself for ordination and had just been accepted. Even at that point I had my doubts. Funnily enough the things I worried about have worked out just fine. It's other things that make me question my vocation now.
10 years ago Tony Blair was the popular leader of the opposition and John Major 'led' the country. Finally enough almost exactly 10 years ago I was stood in Downing Street when Tony Blair first arrived. That was the 2nd May. 10 years ago I spent my summer counting cars for a traffic survey firm and then moved to Paris. That was August 1997. 5 days after I arrived Princess Diana died. 10 minutes after I walked over the bridge above the underpass. Maybe it was longer. It was a while ago.
I find that history makes a person, and it is the people in that history that change who they are. So there you have a modicum of my personal history. My closest friend at uni walked away from Church because he is gay.
He's organising a re-union this year.
Could be fun. I suspect they'll be some shite spoken.
We'll think about what happened 10 years ago.
It's only scary when you realise at the time most of my students were busy falling in love with Gary Barlow and watching Saturday morning tele.
Church of England Chaplain University of Southampton Blair Tony Blair
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Baghdad in flames
It is Iraq's 'safest' place. Home to the US embassy, the UK embassy and the Iraqi Parliament. Today it has been reached by the insurgents.
Much will be written today on this subject and I don't want to add to it. Everyone will be searching for the answer to the insuperable problem that Iraq has become.
There are no answers. I have no solution the only thing that strikes me is how preventable all this was. Even if we had gone to war this was still utterly preventable. I believe that when they write the history books on this one they will note our biggest moral failure was not the decision to go to war (itself probably a moral failure) but the way in which we did it.
Right from the moment we decided to put in enough troops to take the country but not enough to secure it. From the moment the troops decided to stand by and not stop the looting. From the moment the Troops decided to secure the oil fields but not the UN building in Baghdad. Right from those first weeks on Iraq this became the future and it didn't need to be. The problem was simple there was no ethical thinking. Morality was absent. There are those who believe that war is always wrong, passificist and I'm one of them. However if you accept that war is moral then you must accept that the way you wage war also must be moral and that is more than just about not shooting civilians.
The only thought on this one seems to be the question of whether the actual decision to go to war was acceptable or not. "Can we get away with it?" everything else is steeped in pragmatism. We have installed democracy because we thought it would work, not because Iraq would benefit.
There is only one solution now and that is to stay. Staying doesn't make it any better it just mean it gets worse slower.
Personally I don't think Britain will stay and so most of those who will die will be Iraqis and Americans. Lets hope we've learned to be a bit more thoughtful about morality.
Church of England Chaplain University of Southampton Iraq Baghdad
Much will be written today on this subject and I don't want to add to it. Everyone will be searching for the answer to the insuperable problem that Iraq has become.
There are no answers. I have no solution the only thing that strikes me is how preventable all this was. Even if we had gone to war this was still utterly preventable. I believe that when they write the history books on this one they will note our biggest moral failure was not the decision to go to war (itself probably a moral failure) but the way in which we did it.
Right from the moment we decided to put in enough troops to take the country but not enough to secure it. From the moment the troops decided to stand by and not stop the looting. From the moment the Troops decided to secure the oil fields but not the UN building in Baghdad. Right from those first weeks on Iraq this became the future and it didn't need to be. The problem was simple there was no ethical thinking. Morality was absent. There are those who believe that war is always wrong, passificist and I'm one of them. However if you accept that war is moral then you must accept that the way you wage war also must be moral and that is more than just about not shooting civilians.
The only thought on this one seems to be the question of whether the actual decision to go to war was acceptable or not. "Can we get away with it?" everything else is steeped in pragmatism. We have installed democracy because we thought it would work, not because Iraq would benefit.
There is only one solution now and that is to stay. Staying doesn't make it any better it just mean it gets worse slower.
Personally I don't think Britain will stay and so most of those who will die will be Iraqis and Americans. Lets hope we've learned to be a bit more thoughtful about morality.
Church of England Chaplain University of Southampton Iraq Baghdad
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Student Tele
There are numerous stereotypes in this world. Like Christians wearing cardigans. Dominatrices wearing high heals and students drinking far too much and watching Children's television.
Now actually in my experience students do drink like a fish. Thanks to my going out with a different student society every night so do I. BUT...do they really watch teletubbies?
Do they? Do they come round in the mid morning, carpet burns on their forehead, jeans round their knees, two foot from the bed, in someone else's room and reach for tele controls, so they gently recuperate to the sound of tinky-winky's soothing tones?
Anne Wood is the woman behind La-la, Po, Dispsy and 'The Wink'. She is, by the way, one of the richest women in Britain. Well now she's back with a new series. It's called "In the night Garden" and brings a whole new cast of gentle characters to head pounding coffee fueled morning afters.
Iggle Pickel is the star a blue teddy bear who enters the world of imagination to meet his friend Upsy Daisy. The Tombliboos live in a tree. Makka Pakka carries a sponge and soap everywhere and seems to be suffering some sort of dirt related OCD. The Haahoos are just giant brightly coloured inflated balloons which as a result means that while the say very little they will lead some older viewers to suffer drug related flashbacks.
All the characters hang around in the garden often taking time out to ride on a special train called the Ninky Nonk or in an airship called the Pinky Ponk.
The question is: Do I need to engage in some serious student culture research or is the stereotype bollocks? (Evidence of student related teletubby activity can be found here)
Last week I did have a quick glance at the wikipedia page.
"WARNING. If any person over the target audience age watches the show, they will become mentally deranged" it notes encyclopedicly "since half the show repeats itself over and over again with no signs of originality, and that the character of 'IgglePiggle' is actually an evil being which will sneak into your bedroom at night and shit all over your walls before wiping it's un-natural arse all over it. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED."
Thank you wikipedia. Just knowing you are there makes the world a better place.
Church of England Chaplain University of Southampton Teletubbies Anne Wood
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Collared
"Can you wear a dog collar" the person on the end of the phone said.
"Why?" I replied.
"So I'll recognise you." he replied.
Today I got up and put on a dog collar to go and meet someone who I have never met before but who knew I was ordained. It felt very weird.
It is such a long time since I wore one of those regularly. I used to wear one every day and then it was just the wallpaper of my life. Now it is a sign of how far I have moved in the last two years.
There are so many expectations on clergy. Something I was warned about at college.
"There are so many expectations on clergy" the principal would say to me on numerous occasions. They worried about me a lot a college (does this surprise you?) that thought I would not live up to expectations. That worried them. These come not just from the Church but from everyone. Like the expectation that you wont be reading BDSM blogs. If you do, and admit to it, people will be surprised.
I have learned the hard way that many expectations should not be lived up to.
Often expectations are misplaced. For example I've struggled for a long time with my political tendencies (basically I'm an anarchist) and how that fits in with my faith. Does that make me less Christian. The trouble with asking that question is it makes other people the judge of my faith. Not God.
Standing before God alone is a major theme of just about every major work of Christian Anarchism. As I found out when I began to explore the subject. It seems to be quite a theme in Tolstoy's 'The Kingdom is among you' which is THE text on the subject. He inspired Martin Luther King, Jr among others. So it is very much part of the tradition even though you wouldn't think it would be...
So there we are. Not my best post. Nor my wittiest.
But something I wanted to say.
Normal service will be resumed tomorrow.
"Why?" I replied.
"So I'll recognise you." he replied.
Today I got up and put on a dog collar to go and meet someone who I have never met before but who knew I was ordained. It felt very weird.
It is such a long time since I wore one of those regularly. I used to wear one every day and then it was just the wallpaper of my life. Now it is a sign of how far I have moved in the last two years.
There are so many expectations on clergy. Something I was warned about at college.
"There are so many expectations on clergy" the principal would say to me on numerous occasions. They worried about me a lot a college (does this surprise you?) that thought I would not live up to expectations. That worried them. These come not just from the Church but from everyone. Like the expectation that you wont be reading BDSM blogs. If you do, and admit to it, people will be surprised.
I have learned the hard way that many expectations should not be lived up to.
Often expectations are misplaced. For example I've struggled for a long time with my political tendencies (basically I'm an anarchist) and how that fits in with my faith. Does that make me less Christian. The trouble with asking that question is it makes other people the judge of my faith. Not God.
Standing before God alone is a major theme of just about every major work of Christian Anarchism. As I found out when I began to explore the subject. It seems to be quite a theme in Tolstoy's 'The Kingdom is among you' which is THE text on the subject. He inspired Martin Luther King, Jr among others. So it is very much part of the tradition even though you wouldn't think it would be...
So there we are. Not my best post. Nor my wittiest.
But something I wanted to say.
Normal service will be resumed tomorrow.
Sunday, April 08, 2007
HE IS RISEN INDEED
On the first day of the week, at early dawn, they came to the tomb, taking the spices that they had prepared. They found the stone rolled away from the tomb, but when they went in they did not find the body...
What does the word resurrection mean? What does it mean that Jesus walked from the tomb?
Is it a just a fact? Jesus was dead and then he was alive again.
Because I have to say that I don't like it when people take the resurrection of Jesus and turn it into just a fact. When people rationalise it and intellectualise it, when the speak of proof and evidence, it doesn't help because it empties the resurrection of it's meaning and turns it into a mere juggling act with bones.
God, the ultimate magician, instead of locking Jesus in a box and sawing him in half, nails him to a cross and then...say the magic words and....HE'S ALIVE AGAIN! TA DA!
I believe that the resurrection happened I believe that Jesus walked alive again from the tomb and I believe that he had died two days previously, but that is not the point. The question is about meaning.
We are afraid to die. We are afraid of the unravelling of being that represents. We are afraid to loose ourselves. So we like to think of death as being the instantaneous release of the soul from the body. That is the pagan way of thinking. Nothing wrong with it, just pagan, and I'm a Christian. We should not be afraid of death but instead have faith through death God will raise us up. That is Christian.
And then there is the life we are raised up to. Jesus really died and God did not simply heal him of death resurrection is more than that. It is a new life. It is life as it was supposed to be. Once again we are focused on ideals and on the power of God. By letting go we let God move. We let his power in. What he does it not always what we want or how we would want it but it is the best. By being prepared to let go, by loosing ourselves and letting God do what he will we will find life new, but not repeated.
God will not let us go, he will not forget us, his memory is sharper than ours and remembers not just what was but what should have been. It is an active process. For God cannot speak without creating so he will not leave us as we are.
He does not think back he remembers forward.
It is this empowerment that is found is Jesus resurrection. And I have seen it in my own life. Don't ask me to prove it to you. Don't ask me to rationalise it. It is a matter of faith and experience.
Jesus is risen.
Hallelujah!
Saturday, April 07, 2007
Close all the Churches
Easter Saturday.
Between death and resurrection. A person I once knew who was a server at Portsmouth Cathedral told me this one was the one day a year when the Cathedral shut. The Dean at the time he was a server there, who is now Bishop of Salisbury, wanted it that way.
He wanted the many people who turned up the the Cathedral to find it locked, the drama of Easter Saturday played out...he is not here...he is dead.
I have heard it say that Christians live intrinsically the Easter Saturday experience, between what has happened and what is to come. Between what humanity has done and what God has yet to put right, and yet I find that a little too pessimistic. After all Christians are supposed to live in the light of the resurrection.
But Christians do often live the Easter Saturday experience of those first disciples. They are dispersed and confused. Trying to make sense of a radically changed world within which their faith faith seemed misplaced and hopelessly ill equipped to find answers they needed. Many of us can relate to that. They were robbed of their fellowship with one another as they ran in so many different directions, and we can all relate to that.
In Easter Saturday there is a process of letting go.
After all all the disciples expectations and understand (perhaps one should say misunderstanding) of what the kingdom was all about was destroyed on Friday. Just a day after they debated among themselves about who was going to be Jesus' number two when he seized power, Jesus was dead.
We all have hopes for the future. Maybe we want to get to the top of our profession. Maybe we want to be rich. Maybe we just want to be comfortable. Or maybe like me you just want to be a more popular blogger than you actually are. We all want. Especially these days. In post Thatcher Britain life is so insecure. Everyone must strive and those who are not good enough find themselves living a hand to mouth existence, or worse just fit for the scrap heap. The market must diliver and we need to deliver with it. This makes for a very insecure which is why we strive. We try to better ourselves and to latch on to anyone in who's slipstream we can ride. I'm sure many people did that with Jesus.
But these things must come to naught.
Because that is the point of Easter Saturday. All must fail.
Christianity is a religion which starts with the failure of humanity and humanities inabillity to fix that. That is a hard thing to get your head around. It is distinctly Christian. Islam believes that Jesus did not die. The prophet cannot fail in his mission. Likewise many churches are too focused on their own success. Witness many of the richest Churches today trying to dictate to those less well off through so called covenants. No there must be a fall. A failure.
Then into that catastrophic failure God speaks. God solves. Into death he brings his devine power. The unexplained, the unexpected, the impossible. Resurrection. For God is that all things are possible.
If we do not allow for this we do not allow God to speak. This is my frustration with so much emerging Church stuff. It is trying to hard to reinvent the Church. It is not allowing God to act out of nothing.
Christians need to spend Holy Saturday on their own. In silence. Seeking God and his new life.
Shut the Churches.
It is not Easter yet.
Between death and resurrection. A person I once knew who was a server at Portsmouth Cathedral told me this one was the one day a year when the Cathedral shut. The Dean at the time he was a server there, who is now Bishop of Salisbury, wanted it that way.
He wanted the many people who turned up the the Cathedral to find it locked, the drama of Easter Saturday played out...he is not here...he is dead.
I have heard it say that Christians live intrinsically the Easter Saturday experience, between what has happened and what is to come. Between what humanity has done and what God has yet to put right, and yet I find that a little too pessimistic. After all Christians are supposed to live in the light of the resurrection.
But Christians do often live the Easter Saturday experience of those first disciples. They are dispersed and confused. Trying to make sense of a radically changed world within which their faith faith seemed misplaced and hopelessly ill equipped to find answers they needed. Many of us can relate to that. They were robbed of their fellowship with one another as they ran in so many different directions, and we can all relate to that.
In Easter Saturday there is a process of letting go.
After all all the disciples expectations and understand (perhaps one should say misunderstanding) of what the kingdom was all about was destroyed on Friday. Just a day after they debated among themselves about who was going to be Jesus' number two when he seized power, Jesus was dead.
We all have hopes for the future. Maybe we want to get to the top of our profession. Maybe we want to be rich. Maybe we just want to be comfortable. Or maybe like me you just want to be a more popular blogger than you actually are. We all want. Especially these days. In post Thatcher Britain life is so insecure. Everyone must strive and those who are not good enough find themselves living a hand to mouth existence, or worse just fit for the scrap heap. The market must diliver and we need to deliver with it. This makes for a very insecure which is why we strive. We try to better ourselves and to latch on to anyone in who's slipstream we can ride. I'm sure many people did that with Jesus.
But these things must come to naught.
Because that is the point of Easter Saturday. All must fail.
Christianity is a religion which starts with the failure of humanity and humanities inabillity to fix that. That is a hard thing to get your head around. It is distinctly Christian. Islam believes that Jesus did not die. The prophet cannot fail in his mission. Likewise many churches are too focused on their own success. Witness many of the richest Churches today trying to dictate to those less well off through so called covenants. No there must be a fall. A failure.
Then into that catastrophic failure God speaks. God solves. Into death he brings his devine power. The unexplained, the unexpected, the impossible. Resurrection. For God is that all things are possible.
If we do not allow for this we do not allow God to speak. This is my frustration with so much emerging Church stuff. It is trying to hard to reinvent the Church. It is not allowing God to act out of nothing.
Christians need to spend Holy Saturday on their own. In silence. Seeking God and his new life.
Shut the Churches.
It is not Easter yet.
Friday, April 06, 2007
The good day
The story of Jesus arrest and trial is one that is so multi-layered.
I find myself drawn to the stories of Jesus before Pilate. This takes place on Friday. According to John it happened early in the morning. Jesus was bought to the very centre of Political power in Judea.
This of course is an occupied country and a deeply religious one, as such it was a place of constant tension and undercurrent. I think contemporary Iraq gives us something of a picture. I imagine that there would have been a considerable distance between the occupying power and those whom they occupied. It is significant that Pilate himself was involved. I suspect that his involvement was two fold both because of Jesus and the following he had built up and also the the agitation on the part of the Jewish rulers.
The religious leaders are often pictured as quite powerful. I suspect in reality any power they wielded was indirect and only against their own people.
As we know there is no such thing as a spontaneous demonstration, these things are always organized. For example in the last year or so I've been sent e-mails asking me to agitate on the proposed incitement to religious hatred bill, on the sexual orientation regulations and to ask the government to intervene to safeguard the rights of CUs. All these examples are about reminding people we are still here and have power. Christians were never going to prevent the S.O.R. getting on the statute books and they knew it. But they made noise. Just as important.
I see a similar process on that first Good Friday. The question of who ultimately is guilty for Jesus' death has led to an awful lot of antisemitism, I see a power struggle going on that has nothing to do with Jesus. The Jewish authorities are presenting this as a test case, what they want is for Pilate to convict Jesus on a religious charge. His refusal to do so, is not because the Jews are responsible for Jesus' death, but rather has more to do with the wider politics of the region. When the Roman's conquered they forced their subjects to worship their gods. The Jews were monotheists so the situation was a little more complicated. By refusing to convict Jesus on a religious charge Pilate is making the point that while the Jews may be bound by their religious laws, he is not.
You take him away and judge him by your law, Pilate says.
Finally Pilate gives in, I think partially because the Jesus movement had got out of hand, and it was easiest to get rid of him. However he washes his hands to once again reinforce the fact that religious law does not apply to him and he ensures the humiliation of the religious leaders by putting the words “King of the Jews” above Jesus head.
Here is your King dying like a slave.
As I read the story of Jesus and Pilate, one thing that leaps off the page at me is Jesus' submission.
“I have power to release you and power to crucify you” says Pilate in exasperation before a silent Christ.
“You would have no power over me unless it had been given you.” Jesus responds.
Submission for those who do it is a frightening thing. It is worse than being beaten up. To willingly lay yourself open to these things is truly terrible.
But (just in case Bitchy Jones is reading) there is a power in submission. It is the power wielded by Ghandi. It is the reason, I think, that Martin Luther King, Jr achieved more than Malcom X.
When I think of Iraq I see the exact opposite... no one, not us, not the Sunnis not the Shiites seems to want the moral high ground.
It is all an endless cycle of violence.
Jesus taught another way but more than that, he lived it, right through to the end.
Pain.
Suffering.
Silence.
“Follow me...”
I find myself drawn to the stories of Jesus before Pilate. This takes place on Friday. According to John it happened early in the morning. Jesus was bought to the very centre of Political power in Judea.
This of course is an occupied country and a deeply religious one, as such it was a place of constant tension and undercurrent. I think contemporary Iraq gives us something of a picture. I imagine that there would have been a considerable distance between the occupying power and those whom they occupied. It is significant that Pilate himself was involved. I suspect that his involvement was two fold both because of Jesus and the following he had built up and also the the agitation on the part of the Jewish rulers.
The religious leaders are often pictured as quite powerful. I suspect in reality any power they wielded was indirect and only against their own people.
As we know there is no such thing as a spontaneous demonstration, these things are always organized. For example in the last year or so I've been sent e-mails asking me to agitate on the proposed incitement to religious hatred bill, on the sexual orientation regulations and to ask the government to intervene to safeguard the rights of CUs. All these examples are about reminding people we are still here and have power. Christians were never going to prevent the S.O.R. getting on the statute books and they knew it. But they made noise. Just as important.
I see a similar process on that first Good Friday. The question of who ultimately is guilty for Jesus' death has led to an awful lot of antisemitism, I see a power struggle going on that has nothing to do with Jesus. The Jewish authorities are presenting this as a test case, what they want is for Pilate to convict Jesus on a religious charge. His refusal to do so, is not because the Jews are responsible for Jesus' death, but rather has more to do with the wider politics of the region. When the Roman's conquered they forced their subjects to worship their gods. The Jews were monotheists so the situation was a little more complicated. By refusing to convict Jesus on a religious charge Pilate is making the point that while the Jews may be bound by their religious laws, he is not.
You take him away and judge him by your law, Pilate says.
Finally Pilate gives in, I think partially because the Jesus movement had got out of hand, and it was easiest to get rid of him. However he washes his hands to once again reinforce the fact that religious law does not apply to him and he ensures the humiliation of the religious leaders by putting the words “King of the Jews” above Jesus head.
Here is your King dying like a slave.
As I read the story of Jesus and Pilate, one thing that leaps off the page at me is Jesus' submission.
“I have power to release you and power to crucify you” says Pilate in exasperation before a silent Christ.
“You would have no power over me unless it had been given you.” Jesus responds.
Submission for those who do it is a frightening thing. It is worse than being beaten up. To willingly lay yourself open to these things is truly terrible.
But (just in case Bitchy Jones is reading) there is a power in submission. It is the power wielded by Ghandi. It is the reason, I think, that Martin Luther King, Jr achieved more than Malcom X.
When I think of Iraq I see the exact opposite... no one, not us, not the Sunnis not the Shiites seems to want the moral high ground.
It is all an endless cycle of violence.
Jesus taught another way but more than that, he lived it, right through to the end.
Pain.
Suffering.
Silence.
“Follow me...”
Thursday, April 05, 2007
The beginning of the end
When I think about it, Jesus probably hid because it was so close to the festival and he wanted to have just this last day with his disciples.
Just this once this last chance to teach and to set his community together before the end.
There are a couple of things to note. Firstly that Jesus sends his disciples into the city, he does not go himself, clearly it has become to dangerous for him. They find a man carrying water jars. This was unusual, mostly it would have been a woman back then, so that to my mind indicates a pre-arrangement. Clearly the man who owned the house was taking a risk.
Second thing to note is that Jesus celebrated the passover, the festival right at the heart of Jewish identity with his disciples. Not his family as would have been usual.
The whole meal though actually is more about the identity of this community as opposed to the larger Jewish community that they all belonged to. This day clearly marks not just the beginning of the end of Jesus' life, but the beginning of his new religion. There are many who say that Jesus did not mean to start a religion, but I think if you look at these passages it is clear. He is setting things up for when he is not around anymore. The most clear evidence is his famous words with the bread and the wine.
When you meet together, Jesus says, in the future at this passover. You are to remember me. Not the Exodus from Egypt not the history of the Jewish people but me. And you must make remembering me the centre of this festival and this meal.
Jesus' teaching from the last supper is about the nature of the relationship which his disciples have with one another.
"Having loved his own, he loved them to the end" John chapter 13 verse 1.
So he washes their feet to indicate that they must serve one another, this radical equality is underlined by his naming of them as friends of his not servants. It has the feel of 'now I have told you everything, now go do...'
So having demolished hierarchical organised religion on Monday he then sets out a radical alternative with a new commandment. Love one another. Love is central, and so is welcome note please that Judas, whom Jesus knew, according to the accounts, would betray him, is there at table, with him. Though this is a community meal at which the Christian identity and community are central, it is incomplete without outsiders and those who feel they cannot belong.
This is for those of you beloved of Fresh Expressions a new way of being Church. It is still new 2,000 years latter because I don't believe it has ever been tried by the Church. A community with no one in charge and everyone serving everyone else.
And each person, thanks to the direct guiding of God's Spirit having as much right to lead and pray as anyone else. All MUST be equal. Jesus made that clear, when they argued about which of them was the greatest. No, there is to be no greatest, unless it is the greatest servant.
Finally he leads them and asks them to pray. Not for him but for themselves.
Yet they slept...and Jesus in spite of what he had just taught was finally alone...
As no one should ever be.
Then...those who came to arrest him were at his side.
Just this once this last chance to teach and to set his community together before the end.
There are a couple of things to note. Firstly that Jesus sends his disciples into the city, he does not go himself, clearly it has become to dangerous for him. They find a man carrying water jars. This was unusual, mostly it would have been a woman back then, so that to my mind indicates a pre-arrangement. Clearly the man who owned the house was taking a risk.
Second thing to note is that Jesus celebrated the passover, the festival right at the heart of Jewish identity with his disciples. Not his family as would have been usual.
The whole meal though actually is more about the identity of this community as opposed to the larger Jewish community that they all belonged to. This day clearly marks not just the beginning of the end of Jesus' life, but the beginning of his new religion. There are many who say that Jesus did not mean to start a religion, but I think if you look at these passages it is clear. He is setting things up for when he is not around anymore. The most clear evidence is his famous words with the bread and the wine.
When you meet together, Jesus says, in the future at this passover. You are to remember me. Not the Exodus from Egypt not the history of the Jewish people but me. And you must make remembering me the centre of this festival and this meal.
Jesus' teaching from the last supper is about the nature of the relationship which his disciples have with one another.
"Having loved his own, he loved them to the end" John chapter 13 verse 1.
So he washes their feet to indicate that they must serve one another, this radical equality is underlined by his naming of them as friends of his not servants. It has the feel of 'now I have told you everything, now go do...'
So having demolished hierarchical organised religion on Monday he then sets out a radical alternative with a new commandment. Love one another. Love is central, and so is welcome note please that Judas, whom Jesus knew, according to the accounts, would betray him, is there at table, with him. Though this is a community meal at which the Christian identity and community are central, it is incomplete without outsiders and those who feel they cannot belong.
This is for those of you beloved of Fresh Expressions a new way of being Church. It is still new 2,000 years latter because I don't believe it has ever been tried by the Church. A community with no one in charge and everyone serving everyone else.
And each person, thanks to the direct guiding of God's Spirit having as much right to lead and pray as anyone else. All MUST be equal. Jesus made that clear, when they argued about which of them was the greatest. No, there is to be no greatest, unless it is the greatest servant.
Finally he leads them and asks them to pray. Not for him but for themselves.
Yet they slept...and Jesus in spite of what he had just taught was finally alone...
As no one should ever be.
Then...those who came to arrest him were at his side.
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
And then....nothing
Jesus disappears on Wednesday.
Luke has him in the temple for an indefinite period of time. He just uses the words "every day" he has people getting up early in order to come and hear him speak but he doesn't tell us when that period ended. There is just a picture of Jesus' growing popularity with the ordinary people of the land.
Matthew and Mark have nothing, not a word, on Wednesday. They both have Judas deciding to betray him two days before the passover and then the very next verse is "on the first day of unleavened bread" eg Thursday (We know it was Thursday because Jesus was crucified the next day and that was the day before the Sabbath).
So Wednesday is silent. Perhaps he was outside the city. After all he sent his disciples into the city for passover. Maybe he was still at the house of Simon the Leper.
I haven't paid a lot of attention to John's Gospel this week, mostly because John is remarkably tangential, especially in matters of timing - he places Jesus' clearing out of the temple right at the beginning of his gospel. As far as the last week of Jesus life is concerned it is very hard to get any kind of timing from John. If you read chapter 12 you see there Jesus troubled about his death and advising the crowd to make the most of him while he was there 'Walk while you still have the light'. Then Jesus hides.
Might this be why he disappears from the gospel accounts of Mark and Matthew for a day? Why did he hide?
Was he frightened? Was he seeking a way out? Did it seem inevitable by this point that he was going to be arrested and killed? Maybe he was trying to find another way? After all Jesus was human.
Or maybe he just wanted a little more time. Perhaps he just wanted one final meal with his closest disciples. Just one more chance to teach them and set things in motion for when he was not there anymore.
So he probably stayed out of the city. Probably hidden. Probably praying and preparing himself.
For in life timing often...is everything.
Luke has him in the temple for an indefinite period of time. He just uses the words "every day" he has people getting up early in order to come and hear him speak but he doesn't tell us when that period ended. There is just a picture of Jesus' growing popularity with the ordinary people of the land.
Matthew and Mark have nothing, not a word, on Wednesday. They both have Judas deciding to betray him two days before the passover and then the very next verse is "on the first day of unleavened bread" eg Thursday (We know it was Thursday because Jesus was crucified the next day and that was the day before the Sabbath).
So Wednesday is silent. Perhaps he was outside the city. After all he sent his disciples into the city for passover. Maybe he was still at the house of Simon the Leper.
I haven't paid a lot of attention to John's Gospel this week, mostly because John is remarkably tangential, especially in matters of timing - he places Jesus' clearing out of the temple right at the beginning of his gospel. As far as the last week of Jesus life is concerned it is very hard to get any kind of timing from John. If you read chapter 12 you see there Jesus troubled about his death and advising the crowd to make the most of him while he was there 'Walk while you still have the light'. Then Jesus hides.
Might this be why he disappears from the gospel accounts of Mark and Matthew for a day? Why did he hide?
Was he frightened? Was he seeking a way out? Did it seem inevitable by this point that he was going to be arrested and killed? Maybe he was trying to find another way? After all Jesus was human.
Or maybe he just wanted a little more time. Perhaps he just wanted one final meal with his closest disciples. Just one more chance to teach them and set things in motion for when he was not there anymore.
So he probably stayed out of the city. Probably hidden. Probably praying and preparing himself.
For in life timing often...is everything.
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Getting in touch with my inner Judas
Tuesday puts Jesus puts Jesus in Bethany at the house of Simon the leper (Matthew chapter 26 verse 6) it was here that some posh woman tipped an entire jug of channel no 5 over him or something like that.
Judas wanted to give this this to the poor (the Bible notes he used to help himself to the money for the poor). In response Jesus gives us Maggie Thatchers favourite verse:
"The poor you have with you always."
This is difficult for liberal Christians because they care a lot about social Justice. Jesus seems to say "Ah no I'm much more important".
Maybe Judas was a bit of a liberal because at that point on that Tuesday he seems to have decided to betray Jesus. Judas has always fascinated me. Not just me there have been numerous books of fact and fiction trying to get behind the story to tell us who Judas really was. Probably the most famous of these is Jesus Christ superstar. In a sense it is easy to get in touch with one's inner Judas than one's inner Jesus simply because Judas is so imperfect. He is also interesting. There are so many questions. why did he follow Jesus? Only to betray him. That of course could be asked of any of the disciples (remember they all walked that night but it is harder since their motivations have been hidden behind the screen of sanctification. Judas is more open for us.
How close was he to Jesus? Bearing in mind that he was in charge of the money and Jesus himself said "Where your heart is there your treasure will be too". Was he like the other disciples? Some have said he was a southerner Iscariot could mean man of Karrioth (which is in the south - Galilee of course is in the North). All of these of course are questions we cannot answer but we do know that Jesus' words about the poor seemed to have been the straw that broke the camels back.
Was it because Judas wanted the money? Was it because Judas was a bit of a lefty social revolutionary? Was it, as many Christians have suggested that when Jesus spoke about his death, Judas realised that he wasn't going to inaugurate the new independent Jewish Kingdom with Jesus as King, that Judas decided he didn't want to follow that sort of Messiah?
I don't think so for that reads both 20th and 21st century left wing politics and later Christian understandings of the 'Messiah' back into the story where they don't belong.
Maybe it's simpler than that.
I don't think Jesus was making a social comment with his statement that the poor are with us always, for Jesus always tried to include the marginalised and to do as much as he could for them. After all obviously he had a common purse for distributing money to the poor this was clearly something he did a lot of. maybe he is refocusing the disciples with Jerusalem in uproar with the festival just a few days away and people getting very worked up. with talk of Jesus as the New David he firmly reminds them....this is all about to turn nasty.
They didn't seem to notice... but one of them did.
Maybe Judas was just clever, after all he kept the common purse. Maybe he saw the way the wind was blowing and he saw that Jesus was right. Maybe he was just a pragmatist and he realised that it was all going Pete Tong and so it was time to be off. With a bunch of silver in his back pocket.
Sure if Jesus wanted to die...he could die...and the others could go with him... but maybe just maybe he thought he could just take his leave.
I like Judas. He reminds me that I'm a pragmatist. He reminds me that I often follow Jesus for completely the wrong reasons. He also reminds me that when push comes to shove I have no idea really what way I'll jump. I just have to pray I do the right thing.
It's easy to be an armchair follower of Jesus.
Judas wanted to give this this to the poor (the Bible notes he used to help himself to the money for the poor). In response Jesus gives us Maggie Thatchers favourite verse:
"The poor you have with you always."
This is difficult for liberal Christians because they care a lot about social Justice. Jesus seems to say "Ah no I'm much more important".
Maybe Judas was a bit of a liberal because at that point on that Tuesday he seems to have decided to betray Jesus. Judas has always fascinated me. Not just me there have been numerous books of fact and fiction trying to get behind the story to tell us who Judas really was. Probably the most famous of these is Jesus Christ superstar. In a sense it is easy to get in touch with one's inner Judas than one's inner Jesus simply because Judas is so imperfect. He is also interesting. There are so many questions. why did he follow Jesus? Only to betray him. That of course could be asked of any of the disciples (remember they all walked that night but it is harder since their motivations have been hidden behind the screen of sanctification. Judas is more open for us.
How close was he to Jesus? Bearing in mind that he was in charge of the money and Jesus himself said "Where your heart is there your treasure will be too". Was he like the other disciples? Some have said he was a southerner Iscariot could mean man of Karrioth (which is in the south - Galilee of course is in the North). All of these of course are questions we cannot answer but we do know that Jesus' words about the poor seemed to have been the straw that broke the camels back.
Was it because Judas wanted the money? Was it because Judas was a bit of a lefty social revolutionary? Was it, as many Christians have suggested that when Jesus spoke about his death, Judas realised that he wasn't going to inaugurate the new independent Jewish Kingdom with Jesus as King, that Judas decided he didn't want to follow that sort of Messiah?
I don't think so for that reads both 20th and 21st century left wing politics and later Christian understandings of the 'Messiah' back into the story where they don't belong.
Maybe it's simpler than that.
I don't think Jesus was making a social comment with his statement that the poor are with us always, for Jesus always tried to include the marginalised and to do as much as he could for them. After all obviously he had a common purse for distributing money to the poor this was clearly something he did a lot of. maybe he is refocusing the disciples with Jerusalem in uproar with the festival just a few days away and people getting very worked up. with talk of Jesus as the New David he firmly reminds them....this is all about to turn nasty.
They didn't seem to notice... but one of them did.
Maybe Judas was just clever, after all he kept the common purse. Maybe he saw the way the wind was blowing and he saw that Jesus was right. Maybe he was just a pragmatist and he realised that it was all going Pete Tong and so it was time to be off. With a bunch of silver in his back pocket.
Sure if Jesus wanted to die...he could die...and the others could go with him... but maybe just maybe he thought he could just take his leave.
I like Judas. He reminds me that I'm a pragmatist. He reminds me that I often follow Jesus for completely the wrong reasons. He also reminds me that when push comes to shove I have no idea really what way I'll jump. I just have to pray I do the right thing.
It's easy to be an armchair follower of Jesus.
Monday, April 02, 2007
What happened on Monday?
Trying to piece anything together after a couple of millennium from four ancient accounts written in Greek is a hard job. When it happens to be the most important week for a major world religion...well that just gets complicated.
What happened to Jesus on Monday?
We know what happened on Sunday. The whole Palms, crowds, donkey thing.
We know what happened on Thursday...an intimate meal with friends and Leonardo da Vinci.
But what happened on Monday?
The timing is difficult to fix. Interestingly two of the Gospels (Matthew and Luke) seem have Jesus throwing out the money changers, who were all making a tidy profit, on the Sunday, but Mark seems to place that event on the Monday.
What they are all agreed on is that there was a period that Jesus taught in the temple. This period, which for Matthew and Mark seems to fit entirely into one day and for Luke seems to go for quite a bit, actually fits with the over turning of the money changers.
You see the money changers were rather essential. It was necessary to provide currency which didn't bear the emperors image, so that no idolatry was possible on God's holiest site. They also sold sacrifices too, which was essential to those coming on pilgrimage from far away so why did Jesus attack them? Was it an attack on greed on making money out of religion, or was it an attack on organised religion itself?
Clearly it was the latter.
If you turn to just one of the accounts, Matthew, it is obvious. Jesus spends a chapter or so teaching in parables and they are all aimed at the religious authorities, the Chief Priests and those Bible conservatives the Pharisees. (Matthew 21: 45) We then have the parable of the wedding guests making it clear that all are invited. We have a series of specific woes on the religious leaders and then finally in chapter 24 an attack on the the temple itself the very centre of organised religion.
At the centre of this teaching is simply this a command for Jesus' followers to watch the religious leaders the scribes and teachers and to do what they say but not what they do. They love to wear robes they love to get the seats of honour BUT says Jesus not so with my followers.
They must not be called Rabbi or teacher they should call no man father for God himself is their father. Instead they are to be the servants of all.
In each and every religion there are special people. Teachers or ministers Reading these bits of the Bible I begin to see that Jesus is teaching another way. Each and every one of his followers being of equal valu. Basically spiritual anarchism. It is clear that there is no place in Jesus' thinking for a hierarchy of relgious people. The professionally religious actually take spirituality away from the people because they do it for them and they make faith contingent on them. I hear this in my job a lot when I hear about the need for students to be given 'good teaching' from 'sound Bible teachers' it actually worries me because I can hear a desire to dis empower students not to allow them to find God for themselves. Note that Jesus' harshest criticisms are often reserved for the scribes and teachers of the law.
Every minister jokes that he wants to put himself out of a job, by this he means train lay people to do his pastoral responsibilities so he can get on with managing the Church. I want to put myself out of a job by dismantling organised religion.
I think that was what Jesus was doing on Monday. I think that's why they crucified him on Friday.
What happened to Jesus on Monday?
We know what happened on Sunday. The whole Palms, crowds, donkey thing.
We know what happened on Thursday...an intimate meal with friends and Leonardo da Vinci.
But what happened on Monday?
The timing is difficult to fix. Interestingly two of the Gospels (Matthew and Luke) seem have Jesus throwing out the money changers, who were all making a tidy profit, on the Sunday, but Mark seems to place that event on the Monday.
What they are all agreed on is that there was a period that Jesus taught in the temple. This period, which for Matthew and Mark seems to fit entirely into one day and for Luke seems to go for quite a bit, actually fits with the over turning of the money changers.
You see the money changers were rather essential. It was necessary to provide currency which didn't bear the emperors image, so that no idolatry was possible on God's holiest site. They also sold sacrifices too, which was essential to those coming on pilgrimage from far away so why did Jesus attack them? Was it an attack on greed on making money out of religion, or was it an attack on organised religion itself?
Clearly it was the latter.
If you turn to just one of the accounts, Matthew, it is obvious. Jesus spends a chapter or so teaching in parables and they are all aimed at the religious authorities, the Chief Priests and those Bible conservatives the Pharisees. (Matthew 21: 45) We then have the parable of the wedding guests making it clear that all are invited. We have a series of specific woes on the religious leaders and then finally in chapter 24 an attack on the the temple itself the very centre of organised religion.
At the centre of this teaching is simply this a command for Jesus' followers to watch the religious leaders the scribes and teachers and to do what they say but not what they do. They love to wear robes they love to get the seats of honour BUT says Jesus not so with my followers.
They must not be called Rabbi or teacher they should call no man father for God himself is their father. Instead they are to be the servants of all.
In each and every religion there are special people. Teachers or ministers Reading these bits of the Bible I begin to see that Jesus is teaching another way. Each and every one of his followers being of equal valu. Basically spiritual anarchism. It is clear that there is no place in Jesus' thinking for a hierarchy of relgious people. The professionally religious actually take spirituality away from the people because they do it for them and they make faith contingent on them. I hear this in my job a lot when I hear about the need for students to be given 'good teaching' from 'sound Bible teachers' it actually worries me because I can hear a desire to dis empower students not to allow them to find God for themselves. Note that Jesus' harshest criticisms are often reserved for the scribes and teachers of the law.
Every minister jokes that he wants to put himself out of a job, by this he means train lay people to do his pastoral responsibilities so he can get on with managing the Church. I want to put myself out of a job by dismantling organised religion.
I think that was what Jesus was doing on Monday. I think that's why they crucified him on Friday.
Sunday, April 01, 2007
Children, Cages, sticks.
Palm Sunday...
It is something the Church does badly. I don't know why, but it just does.
When I was a proper Vicar this used to mark a turning point for me. Lent was a long boring period of penance. I used to wear black for the whole 5 weeks (was it weeks or was it years?) and as much as I'd like to be sorry, five weeks of sorry just got me down.
But on Palm Sunday things changed. All the purple was gone (just for those of you who care Purple is often used to adorn churches in Lent) and now the whole Church was red. We move to what it known as Holy week. The bit of the year Christian use to remember Jesus last week alive...before he died...and came back to life again...and hasn't died since).
This has always been the time of the year when I find myself at my most spiritual. I suppose it dates from when I first started out doing a job for Jesus. Then i was a youth worker. During this week there was not a lot to do. Most of the youth were on holiday, so I just used the Church as my own personal chapel. I used to go into the chancel which was covered in red cloth and put a candle in front of the red decked table and just pray.
I like colour, it sets my mood. It helps me pray. Don't ask me why or how. I read a book once which had a personality test in it....then once you had worked out what sort of person you were it gave you advice in how to pray in a way that was good for you. It suggested I use colour.
Another long, complicated book that told me what already knew.
I also found that walking through Holy Week in a week, not finishing the story in one sitting but covering it in a week actually forces you to pause and slow down. That alone affects your spirituality.
So that is Holy Week. But it all starts with Palm Sunday. To my mind the Church always blows this one. I don't know why. In the medieval period whole villages would turn up to church, bringing donkeys and other animals and there would be a big procession through the streets. Fast forward to secular 21st century Britain and I'm not quite sure what we could do that would work like that. Processions in secular Anglo-Saxon are damp squib affairs. Lots of embarrassed people hanging around hoping no one they know spots them.
Maybe it didn't help that my evangelical church doesn't like colour. Where was the red? OK it was just me, but I noticed. Colour is a bit catholic so they don't do colour. I'm not even slightly Catholic though...and I need some red.
It was a bloody good sermon though. Made slightly unusual by the Vicar putting children in a cage.
Real children.
Real Cage.
In a sermon about what keeps us in prison it sort of worked but it feels a bit surreal writing it down afterwards. It's one of those things that I personally wouldn't do. Mostly just in case it got in the local paper.
Children seem to have been a part of my life today. In the afternoon I took a small child out for a walk on Southampton Common (I was giving someone some parental time off) the child in question decided to find a stick. Did you ever do that when you were a kid...try and find the biggest stick you could to take home as some sort of trophy of your day out? Well this child surpassed themselves, managing to cart halfway home a seven foot stick. They managed to cart it half way home. Which impressed me. Having tired themselves out it fell to me to pick the thing up (they'd been dragging it along) and carry it the rest of the way back to their house, feeling not unlike Gandalf.
I suppose that children take me to the heart of what I want Palm Sunday to be about. I want it to be about excitement. You have to generate excitement, the excitement of the crowds. The excitement of the disciples as the thought they were about to lead a Jewish revolt and all become ministers in King Jesus' new Kingdom.
You need to build the excitement at the beginning of Holy Week like a roller coaster before you plunge down into the week itself. That way the journey is longer and takes you further from your spiritual comfort zone.
But it's hard to generate, excitement or passion in these cold wet islands.
Still I am feeling a bit more spiritual than normal.
I think I enjoyed carrying round a great big stick a bit too much.
Church of England Chaplain University of Southampton
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