Hmmmmm...

It's nearly 12 hours since I wrote a blog about Richard Dawkins...and so far no one has been round with pitch forks....

Shame really...

Maybe militant atheists aren't as bad as I thought.

I guess I'll go to bed and read 'The God delusion'.

Oh yeah and just to clarify....I'm 34 not 44...I'll be 44 in 10 years time.

Obviously.

A short attack on Richard Dawkins

In a couple of days I am going to lay into some religious people, but before I do I want to just let one off at Richard Dawkins.

This is an attack on militant atheism.

It is not an attack on Atheism. Atheism is the sincere belief that there is no God or gods. It is a rational, defensible belief, held many of my friends.

Nor is this an attack on secularism. Secularism is the belief that the Church and state should be separate. Secularism is the philosophy which underpins the university in which I work. Though it is often associated with atheism actually secularism as a philosophy was born of a desire for religious freedom. One of Britain's most celebrated secular educational institutions University College, London is now thought of as the brainchild of 19th century atheists like Jeremy Bentham. However originally the idea for a non-religious college in London came from non-conformist Christians who were barred from the Anglican Universities of Oxford and Cambridge.

Finally this is not an attack on the Atheist Society of Southampton University.

This is an attack aimed directly at Richgard Dawkins and militant atheism.

The first problem with radical atheism is it's oppressive evangelicalism. Its crusading zeal that wishes to sweep aside all in its path. Richard Dawkins has found his truth. I am pleased for him. Why therefore must he turn on me? It is not enough for militant atheists not to practice a faith, not to believe one? Faith is so disturbing and 'unholy' it must be destroyed.

Sam Harris for example has argued that believers are simply 'deranged'. Not misguided. Not in error but deranged. More disturbingly he believes that some beliefs are so dangerous that perhaps we should actually kill people for holding them. When you argue that, you're not very far from intellectual ethnic cleansing. The answer to 'dangerous' beliefs is not eradication but education. The answer to differences of opinions is not destruction but dialogue. It is hard to dialogue with someone who hates your beliefs and pretty much hates you for holding them.

The second and biggest problem with militant atheism is that it is political. Not that this is, in and of itself, wrong but it is misguided in its politics. You have to ask yourself the question why now? Why is radical militant atheism now so celebrated? Why are so many, until now, unknown scientists (like Harris) suddenly writing books about theology? I'll give you a one word answer: Bush.

This whole thing rests on a mistaken belief that the evangelical fundamentalists are in control of America and are driving policy there. This is partly to do with the media, particularly the British media misunderstanding both the US and it's evangelicals. It's not just US of course I received an e-mail recently arguing that people like me had put Bush and Blair into power. I did vote for Blair but because I'm left wing not right.

Evangelical fundamentalist are a minority in this country AND in the US. The news loves to show us pictures of packed US churches all promising to vote Republican and we think that is typical. This is far from the case. The news constantly blurs the distinction between evangelicalism, which can cover all manner of doctrines including some very liberal ideas and fundamentalism. Although 26% of Americans are evangelicals very few of those are fundamentalists.

Fundamentalist do not have an expansionist political agenda. Although they seek to convert the whole world this is not about setting up some kind of US empire so they are not pushing the war on Iraq for example. Most of them fear a one world empire as the fulfillment of the Great Beast of Revaluation. They are not in favor of a white house that will bring that about. Most of them are firmly isolationist.

If you look at the two things which are right at the top of the Evangelical fundamentalist agenda, making homosexual acts and abortion illegal you will see that apart from some noises actually the White House has done nothing in it's last 7 years. What the Bush administration has done has been to use the Fundamentalist vote as a convenient usable commodity. Not enough to settle an election but enough not to throw away. In return for their votes they have got virtually noting. If you look to a book called ‘Tempting Faith’ by David Kuo you can read about what the Bush administration really thinks of these people.

But radical militant atheism persists in it's view that religion is the driving force behind the Bush administration and thus ALL the worlds current problems.

Oh yes with a little help from Islamic fundamentalists. Oh look more evil religious people! Actually Islamists are mostly political groups pursuing political aims.

So Richard Dawkins and co. We are a minority. We are not powerful. We do not run the world. We did not 'do' the middle east. We are not interested in oil.

Blame capitalism.

We are just quietly believing in God. Shut up. Go away and let us do that in peace.

Interesting fact

Do you ever have trouble getting to sleep?

You do?

Me too. I find reading a really boring book helps. The best one I can recommend is the Crockfords Clerical Directory. This is the directory of all the Anglican Clergy in Britain. It gives their ages, when they were ordained. Where they went they went to University, where they trained for ordination, where they have worked in the past, what they do now.

As you can see that is at the very pinnacle of boring.

My entry of course is very short.

Like me.

However on my page there are many other clergy with longer entries. One sleepless night last week I discovered something. On my page there are 33 ordained people. About one third of them are retired.

However within 10 years all but 4 of us will have past retirement age. Of that 4 two will be within 5 years of retirement, one of them being 62.

At 44 I will be the younger of the remaining two. 10 years younger in fact.

In Catholic Church it's actually worse already the average age of priests is 63.

There's a little number crunching to keep anyone who cares about the future of the Church awake at night.

That's probably not many people who read this.

Happy Birthday Blog...

My Blog is over a year old now.

Apparently every time the girl with a one track mind has a blog birthday she picks her best posts and does a sort of a retrospective...

I thought I'd do that too...

Having said that it was really hard to pick 10...

So these are the one's I like the most. They are not my best, they are just the ones I enjoyed writing or reading.

I started the blog with the words "Why not try Blogging" said the student.

My second post starts us off

Then there are these 9:

401 and counting

More Stats

Advice for Newbies

Cheese

SOR

The Confessional

F is for Fencing

The Long Dark Night of the Soul

What Colour are you?

The last one is not a brilliant post...but for some reason I like it.

It was a toss up between that one and this one.

You might of course have your own favourites. The comments sections seems tailor made for you to express just that.

Anyway Thanks for turning up to my virtual party. Help yourselves to nuts while I get you a drink.

A is for Archery Club

Green Tights. Yes Green Tights. That was what I noticed first.

I walked up to a bunch of people dressed as Robin Hood and his very merry men in the bar. They were previously just merry but it was nearly chucking out time.

Surely Archery Club would not go out dressed like that? Have these people no self respect?

No. None what so ever. They even had little toy bow and arrows.

As a man with very little in the way of self respect I needed to spend more time with these people.

Southampton University Archery Club, or SUAC for short (so named because it is the satisfying sound an arrow makes when it hits the target) has been going since 1953. When bows and arrows were part of everyday life.

After fencing club Archery seemed to be the next obvious step in my medieval self defence course. I’m travelling this time with Nick who is deputising for Team Tick and wants to have a go. We get taken along by Helen the only member of the society who turned up to the Robin Hood Social in fishnets. I’m not sure which of the merry men she was supposed to be.

Probably the gay one.

So she took me to this sort of place-where-you-can-do-archery thingy that Southampton Uni has. It’s like a country thingy with a river and stuff and a room with bows and arrows and targets. As they set up I wait outside the shooting range. Meanwhile one of the other clubs is busy inflating a wet suit just opposite us. I assume they are checking it with leaks; however you can never be sure with students.



As I quietly wait I hum to myself.

“Dum de dum de dum de dum. Dum de dum de dum dum.”

Man! That’s a catchy tune.

Gary the coach arrives. He looks me up and down measures my arm and goes to get a bow and some arrows. Everyone else is tooling up. Helen isn’t since she broke her wrist snowboarding.

“It was nothing to do with drink” she says one time too many. Gary is disappointed with Helen. Apparently bow and arrow people don’t snowboard because they might break their wrists.

Gary announces we are going to do some open air shooting. So everyone piles into cars. In my car is another Helen, an archaeologist. Two Helens is complicated but apparently this is easily solved because the other Helen is known in SUAC circles as ‘Bambi’. Presumably because although she is sweet and innocent, one day she’ll grow horns. Or maybe it’s because she isn’t too steady on her feet.



Once there we meet Dr Chris the other coach. Chris is lovely bloke. It is hard to describe him. I’ll try. He is like a wonderful recipe. One part you’re favourite uncle. One part serious coach. A touch of Father Christmas (he has a shaggy beard) with a smidgen of “had a bit too much fun in the 60s”




He explains to me that Archery could be dangerous, but isn't because everyone follows a few simple rules like not firing the arrows when someone shouts “Hold!”. He has got a way about him that is calming and friendly. He sort of flirts with danger in a reassuringly comfortable manner. Obviously the sort of bloke we'd all like to see in charge of flying reindeer.

They set up a target about He talks me through it all. Tells me how to carefully potion my arrow and then encourages me to fire three. Suac! Suac! Suac!

“Not bad” he says as they hit the target nowhere near the middle. It's harder than it looks! I notice everyone else is firing arrows at targets bloody miles away. It's all in the trying to learning as you go. If the arrow lands low follow it with the bow and that works apparently. Nick my partner seems to be doing very well.

As the evening goes on I decide to have a chat to the others. I pick up a certain amount of rivalry with that other great target related club: Darts. I spotted this when I was out with them. The only way to settle it is to organize a charity match.

After several goes I finally manage to get the Gold.



With great satisfaction. Of course it's quite easy when you're target is only 10 meters away!

As we travel home I wonder how I've done.

“I'd like to get Nick out again sometime” says Chris.

Hmmmmm crap then! Sill good evening of fun.

Archers then....not just great with lemonade!


Suac: Tick right on target.



Church of England Chaplain University of Southampton The Big Tick Southampton University University Soton Uni Achery Christmas

GOSH

I just realised my blog is over a year old!

I'm nakered cos I've been up since 7am...and at work kinda since 9 (well working from home since 9 and at work since 11)

I haven't had time to celebrate....I'll have to do something tomorrow

Night!

A little something to offend the whole family

I've been hearing about a certain unsettling that is going on at the Church of England's worst theological college. Apparently it's all about the fight to make the college more Biblical. Which is quite hard actually since it was a conservative evangelical college to start with. Still I guess there is more blood that can be got from that stone so best of luck to the Principal. Anyway it's a Bible fight and I've been playing an aful lot of 'Bible Fight' myself recently. This is offensive but slightly adictive stuff.

You get to play a number of different Bible Characters and fight your way to the top. It's written with real humour. Each character has really well thought out special moves. Noah will floor you under a heard of animals, and cross Moses and he's gonna whop yow ass with the 10 commandment tablets. Eve (who has caused the game to get same criticism from Conservatives due to her lack of clothes) throws rotten apples and well just watch out for Adam.

Eve is probably my fave character but it so much easier to win as Satan.



Blasphemy?

Clearly.

A is for Atheist Soc

I’ve just left the scouts at the other table. This is a big night for me. The first time I have undertaken two ticks.

I catch sight of Jens first…

He smiles at me. I open the conversation in Danish.
“Godaften! Hvordan har du det?”
“What?!?” he replies
“Hvordan har du det?” I repeat.
“What?!” he repeats also.
“Hvordan har du det?” I try one last time.
“Oh! You’re speaking Danish, great! Jeg har det fint, tak!” he says
“You speak Danish really well” he continues.

Lots of Danish people say that to me. They always seem to say it in English, though.
I’m here to meet the Atheists.

There are 20,000 students at Southampton University. Of them about 500 are members of Christian Union, 150 are members of the Student Christian Movement, 400 are members of Islam Soc and so on. That leaves about 18,500 students who are just non-religious. So I guess I can kiss goodbye to my pension. Most of them express their lack of faith with religious-society-joining apathy but there is one group of students who take the non existence of God very seriously. They are the SAS of Unbelievers. The A team. The cream of the cream. If Richard Dawkins is Darwin’s Rottweiler then they are the flees on his back and he scratches right where they itch. They are Atheist Society. Southampton’s premier religious society for the non-religious.

Now I first heard of Atheist Soc before they even existed. Someone sent me an e-mail telling me that there had been lots of discussion about the forming of an atheist society after the Christian Union Mission. They were not an official SUSU society so according to the rules I could not tick them off.

Later I heard the news that they had got the members they needed and my heart started to beat faster. I quickly located them on facebook and discovered they were planning to have a first meeting.

I thought "I'll pop along to the meeting, listen quietly in a corner, give ’em a certificate and be on my way". Oh no. Turns out having me in the room is deemed too controversial. They seem to think just because it has a great big cross outside where I work this is about religion. I mistake lots of people make. It's about the tick people. Keep up!
By the time I get a message inviting me to a social I have already met the president, Jens. Who, you’ll not be surprised to find out, is from Denmark. He's from the land of Kierkegaard and Hans Christian Andersen but he doesn't believe in God or fairy tales (note the 'or' people)
They were out celebrating their acceptance as an official Union society. They are a religious society by classification which is due to Union rules since they are a society principally concerned with religion. I take a few photos for the blog. We decide to go for a bunch of poses with them despairing at me at me, then we sit down with a well earned drink.



Immediately talk turns to religion.

Wow that was quick!

I feel like saying: "Look I tell you what. I'm a chaplain. You're atheists. Let's just call it a draw!" However debate seems to be the order of the evening. One of them says this:

“If God exists why did he make it so hard to work out what his favourite religion is. Why didn't he reveal his will to several completely unconnected people at the same time in an obviously miraculous way that we could correlate.”

Which is a good point. But I don't say that. You don't want to let the side down do you?

The argument rages on. Jens looks worried.

“Are you enjoying this argument?” he asks concerned.
“Oh yes!” I lie.

One of them accuses me of having an opinion which 100% of Christians would disagree with. Which is what's good about this. You see some Christians are not what you might expect and so are some atheist. There...that last line made the world better place, didn't it?

I still wonder why there is an atheist society at all. Why don’t they just not join a religious society like everyone else? One of them looks sheepish.

“Well...” he explains “sometimes, you know you want to talk about things and well you might, um, offend someone so it’s nice to be with like minded people.”

Now I understand. They are like a self-help group for recovering theists. A safe place where you can say what you like or watch Jerry Springer the Opera without some one beheading you or turning up with placards to sing hymns outside your house in some sort of weird church service and protest hybrid. Fair enough!

All in all, I had a good evening. Just a tad too much arguing. Still demonstrate with the Marxists. Cheerlead with the Vixens. Argue with Atheist.

I hope to catch up with them again soon. I say this to Jens as I leave.

“På gensyn” I say.
“What?” he replies



Atheist Soc. I ticked them and I can prove it.

Church of England Chaplain University of Southampton The Big Tick Southampton University University Soton Uni Atheism

It's not fair!

I'm having real trouble blogging. It's not blogger block. I have a problem I'm trying to write up Atheist Soc. And it's so bloody difficult.

I know what happened I just can't seem to put it into words.

I love teasing my societies in my write ups. I just don't know how to do the Atheists.

Will they mind? Will it just look like I'm bitter that they don't come to chaplaincy. Oh what to do.

I've re-written their entry several times. I was going to put it up tonight....but I'm still not sure.

I guess I'll do it tomorrow...or maybe latter!

Tick tock... tick......tock.............tick................tock

Chaplaincy is winding down.

I'm not sure have I feel about this. Last year I was surprised at how much it happened. This year I knew it was coming so...I'm sort of hibernating myself. That's what chaplains do in the summer. We are like Anti-hedgehogs.

Today it was really quiet. we had three people turn up for communion and I sat around writing my atheist soc blog (big tick)

That was it. My catholic colleague has decided to take the week off, the Methodist guy is ill so I've got the place to myself. If I wanted I could run around naked. Except the doors open and you never know.

At the end of the day Alex popped by. She claimed to be bored. She's not supposed to be bored she has exams. Clearly porkies. I didn't complain. It was nice to see her.

And I was bored.

la vache a pissé

So the busy social whirl that is the Chaplaincy yeah is coming to an end with our final even.

Yet another Bar-B-Q.

Today.

The weather has been a little intemperate...as they say over chez petite angliase

il pleut comme vache qui pisse

Regular readers will notice that we seem to have had this problem before.

Maybe God is trying to tell us something. Clearly Bar-B-Qs are inherently satanic and I am his appointed prophet to bring this message to the world. Hmmmmmm. I'm going to need some new clothes aren't I?

Thought so.

CUs take SUs to court...important update....

There isn't an update...it's just all gone away and no one is mentioning it.

OK so what happened....why has this just dissapeared...

Why are we not hearing any more...?

Did UCCF lose the case....?

Is there a cover up.....?

Surly the courts have decided by now?

Why have we not heard....who is keeping the truth from us?

The public have a right to know...

I think.

as I was just saying

Saw 'Have I got news for you' last night and it really pissed me off for the first time in ages.

For the first time ever I think. Basically they had an Old Labour MP on to slag off Blair with the others and I have say for once I didn't want to hear it. I'm sick of the cynicism.

I don't know who's fault it is. Is it the PM and his Spin Doctors. Is it the slick leader of the opposition? Or is it the the fact that the media tell us to be cynical but I'm just sick of it. Once upon a time I can remember thinking about Kinnock and Thatcher that basically though they were very different they both wanted the best for the country. Now we don't trust either Brown or that other man.

I think actually it's primarily the media's fault because I think cynicism sells. I think the media like to paint themselves as clever enough to see through all this spin and give us the truth, which of course is partially true, but in their smugness they have, I think permanently damaged democracy and made us all sick of politicians. Its too easy to say everything Tony did is crap and everything he said is a lie and it's sapping the life from me.

Seriously. Please stop... or I may have to actually take part in some politics.

I need something to lighten my mood...



Ahhhhhh...that's better...

Back to Eurovision.

The Long Goodbye...

So Goodbye then Mr Blair,

The bloke everyone wanted to be Prime Minister in 1997 and everyone wants to leave office now.

When I was interviewed I described myself as 'not a complete Blair cynic'. It's all too trendy today to just be cynical about Blair. At the start of his premiership people disliked him for never having an opinion and slavishly following the focus groups.

Now people see him very much as a conviction politician in the mold of George W. Bush. He now has opinions, none of which we like.

Today he said this:

"I ask you to accept one thing. Hand on heart, I did what I thought was right. I may have been wrong. That's your call. But believe one thing if nothing else - I did what I thought was right for our country. I came into office with high hopes for Britain's future. I leave it with even higher hopes for Britain's future."

And you know what, I've decided to suspend my cynicism. Because unless I do, I'm just going to drown under it.

Today I want to believe.

Feel free to use the comments to slag me off...

S is for SSAGO (Student Scout And Guide Organisation

When you think about the Big Tick you probably wonder what I'm going to do next, don't you. Go on admit it.

When you come up with that list, enjoying the image of me hanging upside down below an airplane, catapulted off some bridge somewhere or throwing up in some bar somewhere else, scouting is probably not what you imagined I'd be doing.

Scouting is not what I imagined doing. What with the 'University' nature of my job. Coupled with the fact that your average cub troop clearly lacks members in the 18-21 age group.

Scouting.

Jolly japes for boys and girls ever since Robert Baden-Powell had a cracking idea in 1908. He wrote a military book (aids to scouting) that became a best seller with the young, so he re-wrote it as "Scouting for Boys" giving a cheep gag to generations of comedians who couldn't really be bothered. None of which would have anything to do with me had Southampton University not had it's own troop.

I was told of the existence of SSAGO at re-freshers. I got a mail from someone in the group. It asked me if I wanted to join them that night for an Easter egg hunt. Now that was novel. No drinking followed by throwing up. Easter Egg hunt. What public separateness. A group of students who had gone out of their way to organise a fun evening of activities for local children.

I turned up on time believing I'd find the happy sight of the grubby expectant faces of local youth.

I found the happy sight of grubby expectant faces.

They were all students.

It turns out that SSAGO is a group for any students who are interested or involved in Scouting. Most of them are scout leaders throughout Southampton. How do a bunch of scout leaders enjoy their night off? With a spot of scouting, clearly.



It was time to pick a team and set off to find our precious treasure of Easter Eggs that have been skillfully hidden round campus. I haven't done anything like this since I was a cub. So I immediately regressed to being 8 years old. Our team includes the mascott. A stuffed dolphin with a scout scarf in Southampton SSAGO colours (yellow and red). He is an unusual dolphin in that he baaaas. This is due to the fact that he was 'interfered' with by a bunch of welsh scouts once. Not a pretty image and now it's in your head too.

We start off hunting for one in a 'house you can pray in' well that was difficult. Someone has hidden the egg in the bushes outside the chaplaincy. We move on around campus. Every stop there is one more clue that leads us to the next egg. Some of them are quite cryptic. One is actually in a book about food in the library. Luckily we got there before someone borrowed our egg. One of the clues leads us to the Maths building. The maths building is on top of I.S.S. the University Computing people so the main entrance is half way up the building and can only be got to by going up a huge flight of steps.




"I want to go up the steps, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase" I said in my 8 year old voice.
"Ok as long as you're quick." said the scout leaders.
I scampered excitedly up the steps to Maths. Leaning dangerously over the side to wave vigorously at everyone down below.



We had slight problems with a couple of the eggs going 'missing' (honestly you can't trust anyone these days) before we found our final clue: "Feeling thirsty? HEAD for the place with antlers". The Stags Head. Southampton University's own pub and my other office. So having collected our eggs we headed for the bar. See seamless amalgamation of student life and scouting.

We sat in the bar and munched our eggs. I ate far more than everyone else. Mostly due to age regression producing a sudden desire to eat loads of sweets.

I don't think anyone noticed.


I was enjoying my post hunt pint when it was time to go...the Atheists Society had just entered the bar and it was on to the next tick.




SSAGO: Dib, Dib, Dob, Tick

Church of England Chaplain University of Southampton The Big Tick Southampton University University Soton Uni Scouting

Penis Envy

I want one of these on my blog.

I've seen it on other blogs and I don't feel like a proper blogger without it.

I have no idea what it is. Or what it does.

But I have to have one.

Now.

WOW

I'm so excited....

About the show....

I've GOT FAIRY LIGHTS!!!!!!

sssshhhhhhh...

if you're close enough to come and see you'll see why I'm excited. If not you'll just have to wait for the write up!

Right gotta go.

Shhhhhhhh....

Shhhhhh....

Be very quiet. The reason I'm whispering is that I need to be very quiet. I've been really busy this week which is why I haven't had much time to blog.

Right now I'm backstage at the showstoppers production of 'Frog and Toad'...they're doing the number with the rakes currently.

Phew! The song just finished so now the audience is clapping so I can talk normally...Ok so where was I? Oh yes 'Frog and Toad' is the latest musical offering from the ShowStoppers - Southampton University all singing all dancing fishnet soc.

oooops here comes another quiet bit, we better keep it down again.

Basically I've got a small part in this one, I've despenced with my dignity to play a seed. Which more or less entails hanging around being small green and seedy. I'm also going to be a Christmas tree (I have baubles you know). Anyway the show is really good and it's on at Arts H tonight tomorrow and twice on Saturday.

Feel free to come and see me make a tit of myself.


Church of England Chaplain University of Southampton

Zac

So Zac from the Guardian turns up at my door carrying an assortment of different cameras and tripods and stuff.

Stuff here is a technical term meaning lots of flashy things that he set up and made flash.

We have a good chat.

"What is this story about?" he asks.

I explain it's about Blair in Downing Street and his anniversary and all that sort of thing.

"What did they ask you to do?" I ask.
"They just said go to Southampton and take a picture."
"Right that should be easy."

Firstly I have to get changed because I don't look like a Vicar and that is the only reason the Guardian are interested in me. I'm the only Vicar who was there on May 2nd. So we debate what sort of colour I should wear.

"Black never looks good" Zac cautions.

Red of course would be a bit of a cliché. Similarly we have to avoid blue and sadly yellow. So we plum for green.

Then Zac looks round my garden for a pretty shot. He's not impressed so he takes me outside and takes some of me in the road.

"Where is the nearest Church?" he wonders.
"A mile down the road" I say.
"And that's yours is it?" he asks.
"No." I say "I don't have a church."
Zac looks confused. This one confuses everyone.
"I work for the University." I explain.
"You're a teacher?" He asks.
"No, I'm a priest." I explain.
"Right." says Zac with total incomprehension. "Do you take any lessons?" he repeates.
"No. I'm a priest. I work in the University. Doing priestly things. Oh and they're called lectures by the way."
"OK." says Zac who clearly hasn't got it so changes the subject. "Can we go to the Church."
"Yes" I explain "But we can't get in it. I don't have keys. I don't work there. You could take a photo of me on the campus in the place I do work."
"Yeah...lets go to the Church."

So we went to the Church. Zac stood me next to a big stone cross because that really seem to say 'vicar' in a way my dog collar didn't. He took loads of photos. With me in a variety of poses.

"That's it...foward a bit. Now cross your arms, now Smile...not that much. Now look prayerful. And holy."

WHAT?!?!?!? How do you do that? How do you 'look' prayerful. More to the point how do you look holy, because that would really help me in my job and would save me actually 'being' holy.

"Yeah, Ok look off to the distance, like you're considering the future for Blair. Do you ever fancy being a model." he jokes. Yeah I'd love to be a model. Maybe I could be on the front page of 'Bald Not Very Good Looking Vicar Monthly'. At least he didn't tell me the camera was eating me up. I ask Zac how he got into this. apparently he did photography at Solent Uni for a year and used to do the odd wedding. We compare notes. It's a rare moment of solidarity. I ask him what it's like to be a photographer with a national newspaper.

"I bet it's boring paping the celebs."
"Um...I cover Hampshire." he replies.
"No celebs?"
"Hampshire's not known for them."
"Bummer!"

A hour later, he's spent, so we part company.

Yes that's right a hour. A hour of posing. My face ached. As he's getting in his car I ask him to pose for a photo. I take one. I took about 3 seconds.

He took a hour.

They pay him for that.