Friday, February 27, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Clearly a "More Tea Vicar" mug.
This isn't the first person who thought "Ah ha, a clergyman. I'll get him a mug!" Original comedy is in short supply globally.
*by everything I mean, of course, yellow socks.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
And yet I am still able to talk to you through the medium of the Internet.
Isn't the modern world wonderful?
So I'm getting away from it all to focus on God and pray all that sort of thing. Yet I am still hassled by work e-mails.
Isn't the modern world shit?
(the furniture is nice....yes a retreat centre with a sponsorship deal)
Thursday, February 19, 2009
“Yar! I be here to plunder yer desktop!” he said as he arrived. I pointed him to the corner.
“Arr! Booty!” he exclaimed. And proceeded to unplug it. He piled it up on a trolley, before producing an entire new computer from a small cardboard box.
“Is this a windows® machine?” I asked.
“Aye, that it be, Jim lad. XP®. An ol' salty dog like me rather be keelhauled than install Vista®.”
“Oh I was hoping for a Linux based machine.”
“Linux, you say? I do hear tell, down in the bilge, the rats speak of such things, they be calling them.... the servers. Tho' what they serve, I know not, could be Davy Jones 'imself f'rall I know.”
“Oh well thanks anyway.” As he finished connecting wires.
“Avast!” he replied, and with that he was gone.
I may not have entirely remembered the conversation
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
This computer has sat on my desk for the last 8 years. Indeed when it first sat on my desk it was typed on by the Revd David Simpson, my predecessor. 8 Years, readers. What were you doing in 2001? I was a student.
Apparently the numbers on our computers relates to how old they are.
The man from isolutions asked me whether it was one of the older ones with a four figure id number.
“No”, I said, “it is 825.”
“Three figures?” he said with incredulity.
That ladies and gentlemen is a floppy drive and a tape player.
Unfortunately despite the fact that a version of my first computer is now in a museum apparently they don't become classics, you wont find an old yellowed one being admired and put through it's passes on top gear.
Clarkson: Ah Hammond, I see you're using a 386 there, to word process.
Hammond: Yes I am, look at how sturdy and solid it is with it's massive metal box.
Clarkson: Not like your rubbish modern computers built to have less environmental impact than a nervous butterfly.
Hamond: Exactly and it's so solid you can literally hit it with a hammer.
Clarkson: And does it crash?
Hammond: Not when I hit it with a hammer, no!
Clarkson: Does it crash other times?
Hammond: Loads, and takes all your stuff with it!
Clarkson: That's real computing that is!
Hammond: And listen to that roar of the fan, you can literally feel the raw power through the desk as you push it to the limit.
But no sadly it is not to be. The computer must die.
Friday, February 13, 2009
They say being a vicar is about being not doing. But I often wonder if I actually do enough work. I don't actually often turn up the chaplaincy very early. Then again other people complain I overwork. This week I decided to note down when I worked.
Sunday: Started 6pm finished 10pm
Monday: Started 10.40am finished 9.10pm
Tuesday: Started 11am finished 6.20pm
Wednesday: Started 8.50am finished Thursday 1.15am
Thursday: Started 11.40am finished 6.30pm
Friday: Started 11.10am finished 6.05pm
That is about 51 hours. Of course I did do a bit of work in the evenings I was at home. In fact I may be working now. I did also stop for dinner.
Some of that work was carried out in the Stags Head. And the Stile. And the Hobbit.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Saturday, February 07, 2009
Barry: Yeah all that is left are those giant snowballs people made on the common.
Sid: What you mean the one's that look like giant snow bolders?
Sid: I know what we could do we could roll one over there and then roll it down the underpass.
Barry: We could. That would be sooo witty.
Sid: It sooo would.
Barry: Come on let's do it!
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
I suggested we should make it a bit Christian, but we couldn't find any wood to nail it to so we went with the crown of thorns.
This is the worst weather for 18 years. I have lived in Southampton for ages. We have never had more than a sprinkling. And yet before the third flake has hit the ground they are everywhere.
Sledges. Where do they come from?
It's not like people are are skidding down the common on half a front door they have nicked from the neighbours house, while they were out. They have some thing that would not look out of place at a snowboarding demo.
You can't tell me that people have them sat in their sheds: 'in case of freak weather break glass?' Do they make them out of orange boxes. Or is there some sort of shady door to door sledge merchant?
"Psssst....you want one of these?" they say opening their trench coats having been out and mugged someone on their way to the alps for an extreme sports holiday.
The world needs to know.
Well I do.
More of a want really.
Monday, February 02, 2009
I had hoped for a day off today so I could go sledging on the common and then build a snowman . But listening to the radio the long list of schools that were closed did not include really big school.
The University does not have inset days either, and we aren't allowed to bring a toy to play with on the last day of term.
The whole of campus is turned into winter wonderland.
Making everything seem magical
This bit is still quite shit