Caption Competition 3

Seen on a comments page today

"When choosing a new speaker, members of the house of commons have stuck two fingers up at the electorate and gone for an MP."

Um...?

Yellow Liquid and Jesus

Jesus walked on water.

What a miracle!

But to be honest there's a question in my mind: Would it have been more or less of a miracle, if he had turned the whole of the sea of Galilee into Custard first. After all we know our Lord is not above a spot of water based transformation.

Admittedly that would have made the actual liquid based promenation significantly less miraculous. It could, and indeed should, be pointed out that the walking upon custard in fact does not violate the laws of nature in any way. Thus pushing the event below the threshold of the miraculous (at least given the medieval scholastic definition).

But this would demonstrate the existence of this sweetened dessert sauce a full fourteen hundred years before its invention. Not only that, but this would give demonstration to a non-newtonian liquid, at a time when fluid mechanics was in it's infancy. Thus giving an irrefutable divine signature to the event and subsequent validation of the Bible as scripture.

It's a difficult one to work through, isn't it?

I suspect the reason our Lord chose to act in the manner he did, is due to the envirmomental impact that the other course of action would have caused. For example I suspect suspention within custard would render fish gills non functional. Not to mention those who relied upon the water drinking and irregation. Finally the sheer quantity of bananas that amount of custard necessitates is beyond the abilities of humankind.

Once again Jesus, well ahead of his time.

I've been discussing this with the CU, anyone who thinks they're just a bunch of unreflective fundamentalists is clearly nuts.

Peterson Toscano

We recently hosted a guy called Peterson Toscano, who came along to do a play in a lecture room.

At the time I thought I should tell other people about it...so here is my review:

It often helps when you are doing something really unpleasant, if you can remove the more human elements of it. Ask anyone who ever got fired from a job. Did they follow procedure? You bet they did! Look at George W. Bush and his messy war with Iraq. Time and time again we were told this was about spreading democracy and combating extremism. At a stroke this makes the whole thing an intellectual argument and that doesn't really involve the actual dropping of explosives on a city full of people – although to be honest if you are going to drop the collective works of John Locke from a couple of miles up you're definitely going to kill someone. You may as well use a bomb.

In the same way conservatives in the church have transformed the debate about gender and sexuality entirely into a dry and dusty intellectual debate about Biblical interpretation. It is no longer about listening to those affected by these issues, it is not about individuals, it is about which theologians have the correct understanding of the text.

Peterson Toscano's answer to this is emphatically personal and yet not in an 'in your face' sort of way. An actor and writer who has given unique voice to this debate with his previous shows in which he dramatically drew upon his experiences as a survivor of the ex-gay Christian movement. His new show “Transfigurations--Transgressing Gender in the Bible” gives voice to many Biblical characters who do not fit into the binary of gender. You, of course, like me are labouring under the impression that there are no such individuals. Gosh not in the Bible! However as Toscano makes clear it's very easy to see them when you realise that the Bible is very clear about how different genders should behave. Once you note that, then, all of a sudden there they all are; Deborah the warrior, Joseph and his interesting choice of outfit, Ester's Eunuch, the man with the water jar, who led the disciples to the upper room, and many others. Toscano impressive acting skills allow him to move seamlessly from character to character. Delicately he places you firmly into the living text, transporting you back thousands of years. The whole thing held together by his narrator, a first century Christian.

Along with the Biblical stories, he brings in the actual words and experiences of the contemporary transgender community. So his work owes a debt his own community of the US, and many of his characters are also rooted in American culture. The eunuch would be at home in Greenwich village, and Esau seems to be the sort of man's man who would look perfectly at home on a fishing trip in Wyoming (perhaps to Brokeback Mountain). Although there is a distinctly American flavour to this piece is communicates effortlessly to a British audience, perhaps because Toscano is saying something universal and human. It does represent a helpful antidote to the usual portrayal of American Christianity, heavily focused on people like Fred Phelps, most beloved of the British media.

So all of this comes together, not only to inform and challenge but actually to entertain. There was laughter, there was a compelling story, there was great theatre. It is well thought out and beautifully executed. Like a skilled educator he does not labour the point but rather leaves his audience to work it out for themselves. Though Toscano is an activist, the only thing we were confronted with in this play was Bible truth.

Rarely is entertainment this well researched, or indeed, this Biblical, or even this entertaining.

If you care about the Bible and want to hear it speak clearly this show is for you. If you want to confirmation only of what you already believe, avoid it like the plague!

Ultimately I do not know what the answer to all the questions of gender and sexuality are, but I do know this: Listening to Fred Phelps makes me feel rubbish and like I want to give up Christianity, watching Peterson Toscano at work, makes me feel fabulous!

“Transfigurations--Transgressing Gender in the Bible” is happening all over the place, if any of them are near you, you should definitely check it out.

In my lounge

There was someone else's computer...





I'm now up to my third Ubuntu convert. Perhaps I should get back to the day job.

11.48 on a Saturday night.

It is the last Saturday night before the end of term. The exams are over most of the students have gone home.

The place is dead.

Dead? Well not quite because as I speak you can hear the chaplaincy on the other side of campus.

I refer to the music. The New Radicals, as it happens "You get what you give." It seems chaplaincy is giving a ball!

Not bad for the end of four years work. A bunch of students celebrating the end of exams with a serious amount of a) fermented drink b) decibels.

Saw the Bishop the other day. Apparently I get to stay in post for a bit longer. Probably a few more years. No mention of the blog. My doocing may not be immanent. Still that is the future. Tonight we party.

(pictures on facebook)

Tweet Tweet

I always seem to lag behind when it comes to technology. Particularly when it come to the latest thing.

If it was not for my job I would probably not know half of this stuff was there. It always seems to be the students that push me in the technological direction.

"I've made a Boldrewood Tunnel Soc group on facebook."
"Facebook?"
"Yeah, you do know what that is?"
"Um no."

And so I ended up on facebook. See if you can find me. (Hint think about the name.)

Then there was.

"Yeah I MSNed her."
"Um....?"

Then:

"You have an Ubuntu disk, you should install that."
"Should I?"

Now I am being pestered about something called Twitter. I don't know what Twitter is really, it seems to be like a website which just records something like your facebook status. I'm not sure I need that, if anyone needs to see my 'status' they can join facebook.

Then there is there is this whole new word thing. 'Facebook' and 'MSN' have both become verbs, but you don't twitter apparently you 'tweet'.

Now tweeting sounds like something that would be done by either a sparrow or a right tit.

I now have received numerous invites for twitter, and I have a couple of students who shout "WHY DON'T YOU TWEET?" every time they see me. Are they right....and while your there in the comments box, just explain what this bloody is to me...assume your talking to an idiot

...but not a tit.

Don't celebrate just yet Mr Griffin

It has been a bad day for Gordon Brown. Of course everyone is going on about the 'breakthrough' for the BNP.

Is this the start of something horrible?

Nah.

See I was paying attention to the other newsy thing this week. The 65th aniversary of D-Day. I think the British people have had this unerring sense of moral superiority over the Germans ever since about 1938. We've kept this up on and off for about 70 years. That's why we have to keep mentioning the war.

"Yes you did....you invaded Poland!"

That would all be wiped out in a second if we actually elected Nick Griffin's nasty little party.

I reckon our hatred of the Germans should stop us from ever electing a bunch of racists.

Providing we don't win the world cup, that is.

Game ON!

Apparently someone has complained to the Area Dean about the content of this blog.

It seems my doocing has moved a step closer!

This on the other hand...

...I'm not so sure about. Yes someone actually did that.

Sometimes one Reliant Robin is not enough.

But two would be overkill.

Yellow with Envy

I want one...in fact I think I need one.

You can't be a proper superhero without a 'you' themed car can you?