Right it has been a long week and I am now taking a step back. I have to rest and take my bearings and allow the news to settle.
I am therefore doing something I never do. I'm taking a day off during the week in term time.
I know I have too much work to do but I think I need this.
So once I have posted this I am going offline until Tuesday morning. E-mails will be unanswered, facebook will mostly be ignored, comments will go unmoderated (but feel free to make them), and I am going to try not to think about Chaplaincy, although as always my students and the staff remain in my prayers.
I have all of series 1 and most of series 3 of "The Thick of it" and that should occupy me for the day. I might call a friend or two. (By the way Armando Iannucci, is lovely and apparently knows loads of Vicars...at least that's what he told me!)
Thank you for all your support, I have been overwhelmed and I want to respond to each and every person individually. I'm not sure how to, there are so many responses to be responded to.
Meanwhile I need students to decide among themselves who is going to go shopping. I need the biggest, brightest, reddest plastic bin with the word 'DONATIONS' painted on it, and I need it in my chaplaincy.
Until Tuesday.
xxx
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Diocesan Synod
A short drive to Winchester, and I arrived outside the Guildhall the setting for the special synod to discuss the diocesan budget.
I was greeted by my Assistant Tom and John, one of the students. There to remind synod of the existence of chaplaincy.
The meeting opened with prayers and then we turned to the matter at hand. The diocese had a budget shortfall and the a new budget had to be approved.
It was the Bishop of Basingstoke who stood to present the proposal, he spoke of our calling as a diocesan family. He spoke of the future and of resourcing what me are called to do and not doing what we can resource. He then turned to the Budget and the cutting of posts as proposed. It was exactly as the Church Times had reported there were a number of clergy posts being cut, of course my post was one of them.
The Bishop dealt with that fairly swiftly, pointing out that in Prison chaplaincy it is the Home Office that funds the post, and that no one should accuse the Church of pulling out of chaplaincy. They simply were looking to rethink funding.
There was then several people who responded. Everyone who stood spoke in favour of the retention of posts, and I had hope of success, but when a woman from Romsey deanery spoke about the fact that we were just going to 'have to pass' the budget I realised that it was going to be almost impossible to secure the funding for my post. Over coffee I overheard one person saying "There are 24,000 students and we're paying for them to have a chaplain, there are 22,000 people living in our deanery and we have 6 vicars and the students aren't paying a penny for one of them."
'Cock' I thought.
As the debate wore on there was increasingly a desire to see more money given, there was increasing talk of communicating with the diocese what was needed, it was noted to reverse every single cut proposed today each and ever member of the church in Winchester Diocese had only to give 88p per week(gift aided). There was some considerable disquiet about cutting the curate posts from 9 to 7 for one year only, people noted this was the future of the Church and one vicar offered to take a £1,000 pay cut in order to ensure that does not take place.
There was some complaint that the diocese did not know what was being considered because the document was kept secret. The Bishop responded that it was confidential not secret and that he wished it would be shared within the diocese with anyone who wanted to know.
Finally I rose to my feet to speak.
I knew what I had to say needed to be good, I spoke without notes and without preparing. I had been praying for guidance as to what to say.
I addressed the Bishop's comment about the need to partner with the institution and ecumenical partners. With the removal of all the money in what sense can we say we are partners? What are we offering? The Bishop responded 'Housing'.
I read to synod from 2 Corinthians 3 and stated that I wanted to be judged only on the work that I had done these 4 and a half years. On the people I had worked with. I spoke about the petition by nearly 850 people to retain my post, it was the first time it had been mentioned. I spoke about the nearly 1,000 students who had joined a group asking for me to be kept in post. The fact that head of one department of the University has e-mailed me to let me know the department were 'praying for me'.
I spoke of the many students who are interested in ordained ministry and I spoke of the many offers I have had this week, from individual students, from parents and from alumni. Offers of prayer, but also offers of money to help fund the chaplaincy.
Finally I said, that if the church would not fund me I would stay in post unpaid and trust God for the finances. An offer I do not make lightly and so I repeat publicly here. Perhaps we need a demonstration of living by faith and I am happy to do that by lived example.
As I sat the synod erupted into applause.
But then we moved quickly to a vote.
First there were two amendments, one to retain the Chaplain to the Deaf and another to retain a University Chaplaincy. Synod was told that since these amendments did not contain a proposal for cutting the amount of money needed to provide the expenditure necessary they were 'uncosted' and therefore could not be considered. Both amendments were withdrawn. One had been tabled by a mother with two profoundly deaf children.
In the end the synod had been given an opportunity to express its opinions but the vote when it came was on the budget as a whole. The Bishop of Basingstoke made it clear that we could not in any way pick apart the budget and look at individual proposals or posts. The thing had to be looked at as a whole, he said.
The Diocesan Secretary noted that without a budget the Diocese would not be able 'to spend a penny' and as a result, it would seem, the entire work of the Diocese would ground to a halt on 1st January 2010. A prospect that would have many a vicar 'spending a penny'.
Thus it was hardly surprising that synod passed the budget nearly unanimously.
The funding has therefore been withdrawn for my post, and unless alternative funding is found, somewhere in the region of 350 people giving £5 a month (or between $8 and $9), I will be made redundant.
I need more than 350 people not to give, but to pray.
I was greeted by my Assistant Tom and John, one of the students. There to remind synod of the existence of chaplaincy.
The meeting opened with prayers and then we turned to the matter at hand. The diocese had a budget shortfall and the a new budget had to be approved.
It was the Bishop of Basingstoke who stood to present the proposal, he spoke of our calling as a diocesan family. He spoke of the future and of resourcing what me are called to do and not doing what we can resource. He then turned to the Budget and the cutting of posts as proposed. It was exactly as the Church Times had reported there were a number of clergy posts being cut, of course my post was one of them.
The Bishop dealt with that fairly swiftly, pointing out that in Prison chaplaincy it is the Home Office that funds the post, and that no one should accuse the Church of pulling out of chaplaincy. They simply were looking to rethink funding.
There was then several people who responded. Everyone who stood spoke in favour of the retention of posts, and I had hope of success, but when a woman from Romsey deanery spoke about the fact that we were just going to 'have to pass' the budget I realised that it was going to be almost impossible to secure the funding for my post. Over coffee I overheard one person saying "There are 24,000 students and we're paying for them to have a chaplain, there are 22,000 people living in our deanery and we have 6 vicars and the students aren't paying a penny for one of them."
'Cock' I thought.
As the debate wore on there was increasingly a desire to see more money given, there was increasing talk of communicating with the diocese what was needed, it was noted to reverse every single cut proposed today each and ever member of the church in Winchester Diocese had only to give 88p per week(gift aided). There was some considerable disquiet about cutting the curate posts from 9 to 7 for one year only, people noted this was the future of the Church and one vicar offered to take a £1,000 pay cut in order to ensure that does not take place.
There was some complaint that the diocese did not know what was being considered because the document was kept secret. The Bishop responded that it was confidential not secret and that he wished it would be shared within the diocese with anyone who wanted to know.
Finally I rose to my feet to speak.
I knew what I had to say needed to be good, I spoke without notes and without preparing. I had been praying for guidance as to what to say.
I addressed the Bishop's comment about the need to partner with the institution and ecumenical partners. With the removal of all the money in what sense can we say we are partners? What are we offering? The Bishop responded 'Housing'.
I read to synod from 2 Corinthians 3 and stated that I wanted to be judged only on the work that I had done these 4 and a half years. On the people I had worked with. I spoke about the petition by nearly 850 people to retain my post, it was the first time it had been mentioned. I spoke about the nearly 1,000 students who had joined a group asking for me to be kept in post. The fact that head of one department of the University has e-mailed me to let me know the department were 'praying for me'.
I spoke of the many students who are interested in ordained ministry and I spoke of the many offers I have had this week, from individual students, from parents and from alumni. Offers of prayer, but also offers of money to help fund the chaplaincy.
Finally I said, that if the church would not fund me I would stay in post unpaid and trust God for the finances. An offer I do not make lightly and so I repeat publicly here. Perhaps we need a demonstration of living by faith and I am happy to do that by lived example.
As I sat the synod erupted into applause.
But then we moved quickly to a vote.
First there were two amendments, one to retain the Chaplain to the Deaf and another to retain a University Chaplaincy. Synod was told that since these amendments did not contain a proposal for cutting the amount of money needed to provide the expenditure necessary they were 'uncosted' and therefore could not be considered. Both amendments were withdrawn. One had been tabled by a mother with two profoundly deaf children.
In the end the synod had been given an opportunity to express its opinions but the vote when it came was on the budget as a whole. The Bishop of Basingstoke made it clear that we could not in any way pick apart the budget and look at individual proposals or posts. The thing had to be looked at as a whole, he said.
The Diocesan Secretary noted that without a budget the Diocese would not be able 'to spend a penny' and as a result, it would seem, the entire work of the Diocese would ground to a halt on 1st January 2010. A prospect that would have many a vicar 'spending a penny'.
Thus it was hardly surprising that synod passed the budget nearly unanimously.
The funding has therefore been withdrawn for my post, and unless alternative funding is found, somewhere in the region of 350 people giving £5 a month (or between $8 and $9), I will be made redundant.
I need more than 350 people not to give, but to pray.
Friday, November 27, 2009
Indeed as I was just saying
I have been maudlin. It's not helping. I'm now in a determined mood. It seems to me that we have to start fighting now.
This post is clearly too important to loose and I will simply not let that happen.
By now the news is completely out of the bag, so everyone knows that synod is going to be deciding tomorrow as to whether or not I keep my job. The decision is purely financial, so the fact that nearly 1,000 students have complained is bound to be of relevance.
Today I have spoken to the BBC, The Times, and assorted others.
I have to go to synod tomorrow and I do not know if I will speak, or whether to let the petition speak for itself. But I now see the level of support there is, not just for this post but for me personally and it makes me realise that I cannot simply give up or just accept what the Church decrees. I must move heaven and earth to stay here.
And I will.
This post is clearly too important to loose and I will simply not let that happen.
By now the news is completely out of the bag, so everyone knows that synod is going to be deciding tomorrow as to whether or not I keep my job. The decision is purely financial, so the fact that nearly 1,000 students have complained is bound to be of relevance.
Today I have spoken to the BBC, The Times, and assorted others.
I have to go to synod tomorrow and I do not know if I will speak, or whether to let the petition speak for itself. But I now see the level of support there is, not just for this post but for me personally and it makes me realise that I cannot simply give up or just accept what the Church decrees. I must move heaven and earth to stay here.
And I will.
What a difference a day makes
Today is a good day and the Lord is good....and I'm going to tell you all about it in about a hour.
See you then
Y
xx
See you then
Y
xx
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Truth 2: I am not *currently* facing redundancy
This is a difficult blog to write. Hell they all are at the moment.
I have been trying to keep this to myself, but thanks to a leak from Winchester Deanery and some intelligent students reading between the lines of the fact that I have had to have a meeting with both the Bishop and the Assistant Area Dean in the space of 24 hours and now this is so firmly in the public domain that I have to say something.
The Diocese has a budget shortfall.
There is a synod on Saturday at which various proposals are to be considered. No decision has been made. But something clearly has to give. But what that is, has yet to be seen.
What I'm going to do here is not present the budget, or even discuss it, what I want to do is to tell you about the week I have had.
On Tuesday I had a meeting with the Bishop and on Wednesday I had a similar one with the Assistant Area Dean. I tried very hard to be normal and not keep things to myself. I suppose I was bad at it. I started to receive e-mails from students and facebook messages. They all said the same thing. "Are you alright?" my Catholic Colleague asked the same thing. As the week wore on, and I said nothing, the rumors started circulating. The favorite was that I was finally being dooced for that blog about Rowan Williams. Every time this was raised I flat out denied it. It was completely not true. Was the Bishop unhappy with my work? They asked. Again I vigorously denied it.
Some point in the week I discovered my chaplaincy assistant in the catholic chaplain's office, he looked like he had been crying. I felt I needed to say something to him.
Mixed messages have been my most pressing concern. On the one hand someone 'high up' told me that this would be impossible to keep confidential once the papers were out. You can send this to 350 people and expect every one to keep it quiet. Someone else said 'We want to have a public debate'. Then again everything was marked confidential. So what am I supposed to do? Seriously.
Mostly, in fact almost entirely, I got on doing my job. I love my job.
On Friday as the papers went out I took my assistant on one side and spoke to him of the possibilities. I was worried about him. I'm his pastor. By then I was aware that 4 or 5 students were going to be doing something about my 'doocing'. Someone mentioned a facebook group.
A lot of facebook groups exist and don't get many members. I was once invited to 'Stevens of the world Unite'. It had four members. I suspect there are actually more Stevens in the world than that.
A student once threatened to set up a 'We love Yellow' facebook group. when it failed to materialise she admitted she hadn't done it because she felt I might be a bit upset when it only got 7 members. I expected the facebook group to just sit there in space. Maybe it would get 12 members. Maybe 13, I don't know.
By Monday afternoon it seemed to have got a lot more. The head of student services had been in my office. Apparently counseling and the mentor service had filled up with students who were upset about my leaving. It appeared that the facebook group had got over 100 members. That surprised me. It worried me that they had accidentally told the University what they thought was about to happen. I wondered if I should inform the diocese. Perhaps I hesitated because I didn't want to admit that there were a bunch of student agitating on my behalf. Mostly I just thought this would all go away. OK the University knew something was up, but this was still on campus. Still quite isolated.
I first spotted a group of chaplaincy hang-arounds on the concourse around that time. They were organising a petition. I wondered over in their direction just in time to overhear a student telling them in no uncertain terms to get stuffed.
"I don't use the chaplaincy, I don't care!" he said. I decided to leave them to it. 35 signatures maximum, I figured. How would I pick up the pieces when they spectacularly failed to gain any support on campus?
Now I have a situation where the students are demanding to see the Diocesan Secretary, they have shown me a wadge of paper, page after page of signatures from students. And I am fielding calls from the national media. My blog is taking numerous hits, and I don't know who is reading. This has got round to our ecumenical partners and I have had to speak to them.
I have so many questions. Should I say something, or nothing, should I speak to the press, or refuse? (where is the diocesan press officer when you need one?). Reading the response of the diocese tonight, there is some support for me but then again, no. Have I annoyed them? Add to that a person from the University telling me that, if anyone ever leaves post, in a storm of negative publicity for their employer, they make themselves virtually unemployable. I have this all going round my head.
Mostly, I am just simply cracking up, under the pressure. When this was discussed at Deanery Chapter I hyperventilated and nearly threw up. In a very real sense I am coming appart at the seams.
I feel so alone.
I have tried to live a quiet life. I've tried to ensure that my file at Diocesan house is as thin as possible. I've sat on diocesan synod and written a blog read by 20 students and a bloke in California.
All I have tried to do, is to work in my little bit of the Lord's vineyard. All I ever wanted was to be a University Chaplain, and I have put all my effort into repaying the trust that the Church placed in me. I tried to be the most effective chaplain to the University of Southampton that I can be.
Is it now a problem that I have in some small sense succeeded?
I have been trying to keep this to myself, but thanks to a leak from Winchester Deanery and some intelligent students reading between the lines of the fact that I have had to have a meeting with both the Bishop and the Assistant Area Dean in the space of 24 hours and now this is so firmly in the public domain that I have to say something.
The Diocese has a budget shortfall.
There is a synod on Saturday at which various proposals are to be considered. No decision has been made. But something clearly has to give. But what that is, has yet to be seen.
What I'm going to do here is not present the budget, or even discuss it, what I want to do is to tell you about the week I have had.
On Tuesday I had a meeting with the Bishop and on Wednesday I had a similar one with the Assistant Area Dean. I tried very hard to be normal and not keep things to myself. I suppose I was bad at it. I started to receive e-mails from students and facebook messages. They all said the same thing. "Are you alright?" my Catholic Colleague asked the same thing. As the week wore on, and I said nothing, the rumors started circulating. The favorite was that I was finally being dooced for that blog about Rowan Williams. Every time this was raised I flat out denied it. It was completely not true. Was the Bishop unhappy with my work? They asked. Again I vigorously denied it.
Some point in the week I discovered my chaplaincy assistant in the catholic chaplain's office, he looked like he had been crying. I felt I needed to say something to him.
Mixed messages have been my most pressing concern. On the one hand someone 'high up' told me that this would be impossible to keep confidential once the papers were out. You can send this to 350 people and expect every one to keep it quiet. Someone else said 'We want to have a public debate'. Then again everything was marked confidential. So what am I supposed to do? Seriously.
Mostly, in fact almost entirely, I got on doing my job. I love my job.
On Friday as the papers went out I took my assistant on one side and spoke to him of the possibilities. I was worried about him. I'm his pastor. By then I was aware that 4 or 5 students were going to be doing something about my 'doocing'. Someone mentioned a facebook group.
A lot of facebook groups exist and don't get many members. I was once invited to 'Stevens of the world Unite'. It had four members. I suspect there are actually more Stevens in the world than that.
A student once threatened to set up a 'We love Yellow' facebook group. when it failed to materialise she admitted she hadn't done it because she felt I might be a bit upset when it only got 7 members. I expected the facebook group to just sit there in space. Maybe it would get 12 members. Maybe 13, I don't know.
By Monday afternoon it seemed to have got a lot more. The head of student services had been in my office. Apparently counseling and the mentor service had filled up with students who were upset about my leaving. It appeared that the facebook group had got over 100 members. That surprised me. It worried me that they had accidentally told the University what they thought was about to happen. I wondered if I should inform the diocese. Perhaps I hesitated because I didn't want to admit that there were a bunch of student agitating on my behalf. Mostly I just thought this would all go away. OK the University knew something was up, but this was still on campus. Still quite isolated.
I first spotted a group of chaplaincy hang-arounds on the concourse around that time. They were organising a petition. I wondered over in their direction just in time to overhear a student telling them in no uncertain terms to get stuffed.
"I don't use the chaplaincy, I don't care!" he said. I decided to leave them to it. 35 signatures maximum, I figured. How would I pick up the pieces when they spectacularly failed to gain any support on campus?
Now I have a situation where the students are demanding to see the Diocesan Secretary, they have shown me a wadge of paper, page after page of signatures from students. And I am fielding calls from the national media. My blog is taking numerous hits, and I don't know who is reading. This has got round to our ecumenical partners and I have had to speak to them.
I have so many questions. Should I say something, or nothing, should I speak to the press, or refuse? (where is the diocesan press officer when you need one?). Reading the response of the diocese tonight, there is some support for me but then again, no. Have I annoyed them? Add to that a person from the University telling me that, if anyone ever leaves post, in a storm of negative publicity for their employer, they make themselves virtually unemployable. I have this all going round my head.
Mostly, I am just simply cracking up, under the pressure. When this was discussed at Deanery Chapter I hyperventilated and nearly threw up. In a very real sense I am coming appart at the seams.
I feel so alone.
I have tried to live a quiet life. I've tried to ensure that my file at Diocesan house is as thin as possible. I've sat on diocesan synod and written a blog read by 20 students and a bloke in California.
All I have tried to do, is to work in my little bit of the Lord's vineyard. All I ever wanted was to be a University Chaplain, and I have put all my effort into repaying the trust that the Church placed in me. I tried to be the most effective chaplain to the University of Southampton that I can be.
Is it now a problem that I have in some small sense succeeded?
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Ok well
Things are moving far too quickly for my liking now.
I will have to post something in response tomorrow.
Unless I get time to tonight.
First my flock are down the pub and Jesus wants me to join them.
I will have to post something in response tomorrow.
Unless I get time to tonight.
First my flock are down the pub and Jesus wants me to join them.
Truth 2: I probably don't really want to get dooced
This blog is dated, in fact it dates from exactly the time when blogging hit the headlines. Mostly because of the doocing (eg getting sacked for writing something on a blog) of Petite Anglaise now known as Catherine Sanderson.
Following on from that and her and other's (the Girl with a one track mind, Belle Du Jour) high profile media careers many people took up blogging with the hope of being discovered by the mainstream media. In fact I suspected most people who were bloggers in 2006 were secretly hoping their boss would sack them, which is why I decided to adopt the persona of someone who wanted to launch his media career through via a doocing would be slightly funny. Given that I was a priest and it's quite difficult to sack priest's who aren't 'naughty'.
I suppose the persona I wanted to adopt was that of a bored cynical person who does no work! Actually although I have lost count of the amount of blogs I start with 'Having done no work today' that's actually a lie.
I love my job, and I wouldn't give it up, even if there was media whoring at the end of it.
Sure I'd be tempted....but not for very long.
No I am where God has put me and God is good, and I thank him for that! Now more than ever I am happy to be here.
Really happy.
Following on from that and her and other's (the Girl with a one track mind, Belle Du Jour) high profile media careers many people took up blogging with the hope of being discovered by the mainstream media. In fact I suspected most people who were bloggers in 2006 were secretly hoping their boss would sack them, which is why I decided to adopt the persona of someone who wanted to launch his media career through via a doocing would be slightly funny. Given that I was a priest and it's quite difficult to sack priest's who aren't 'naughty'.
I suppose the persona I wanted to adopt was that of a bored cynical person who does no work! Actually although I have lost count of the amount of blogs I start with 'Having done no work today' that's actually a lie.
I love my job, and I wouldn't give it up, even if there was media whoring at the end of it.
Sure I'd be tempted....but not for very long.
No I am where God has put me and God is good, and I thank him for that! Now more than ever I am happy to be here.
Really happy.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Truth 1: My name's not really Yellow
OK I admit it, you see I wanted this blog to be pseudonymous. So I never posted under my own name.
Of course I did want it to be traceable. I'm not hiding but I wanted
The truth is I absolutely hate my name. Once upon a time I had another name. My first memories were of pain and fear and abuse. Then one day they put me in a car and drove me away...I remember the journey to this day 31 years later.
I was adopted and given my name a bit later on, and I remember telling my mother that I didn't like imy new name and wanted it changed back. Damn! Someone slap that ungrateful child...oh hang on they did...better get him adopted!
Apparently if you change a child's they often like it. Having a complicated relationship with my adopted father, following my parent divorce doesn't help.
I could just change my name...but the trouble is people know me. You can't just tell everyone you know to call you Darren.
So why Yellow?
The true story goes that I went to a fancy dress party on my way back from a job interview. I was wearing my favourite clerical shirt.
It's yellow.
I had a great night. Oh yes. I a subtle background character, quiet as a mouse. The next morning I got up and looked on the web forums. I found they were full of chat about "That Yellow Vicar". So when I posted I started doing so as "That Yellow Vicar" then "Yellow Vicar" and then eventually I became just Yellow. Eventually I went to a social evening and when I walked into the room, everyone shouted "It's Yellow!"
OK it's a bit odd. But to be honest so am I. Probably down to my childhood, so I do use it as a bit of a distraction mechanism. I hope to be less odd than my nickname! Hopefully people who meet me will think "Ah yes he turned out to be much less odd than I thought he would be! What with him opening the conversation with 'Call me Yellow'."
OK Epic fail.
Of course I did want it to be traceable. I'm not hiding but I wanted
The truth is I absolutely hate my name. Once upon a time I had another name. My first memories were of pain and fear and abuse. Then one day they put me in a car and drove me away...I remember the journey to this day 31 years later.
I was adopted and given my name a bit later on, and I remember telling my mother that I didn't like imy new name and wanted it changed back. Damn! Someone slap that ungrateful child...oh hang on they did...better get him adopted!
Apparently if you change a child's they often like it. Having a complicated relationship with my adopted father, following my parent divorce doesn't help.
I could just change my name...but the trouble is people know me. You can't just tell everyone you know to call you Darren.
So why Yellow?
The true story goes that I went to a fancy dress party on my way back from a job interview. I was wearing my favourite clerical shirt.
It's yellow.
I had a great night. Oh yes. I a subtle background character, quiet as a mouse. The next morning I got up and looked on the web forums. I found they were full of chat about "That Yellow Vicar". So when I posted I started doing so as "That Yellow Vicar" then "Yellow Vicar" and then eventually I became just Yellow. Eventually I went to a social evening and when I walked into the room, everyone shouted "It's Yellow!"
OK it's a bit odd. But to be honest so am I. Probably down to my childhood, so I do use it as a bit of a distraction mechanism. I hope to be less odd than my nickname! Hopefully people who meet me will think "Ah yes he turned out to be much less odd than I thought he would be! What with him opening the conversation with 'Call me Yellow'."
OK Epic fail.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Ready... Steady... Go
OK OK, it's time to fess the chuff up.
I swore I'd never do this but since everything has completely sodding changed in the space of about 20 minutes I'm going to have to actually tell you. It's no good doing the same old stuff, I'm just going to have to let that go and admit the truth...
OK here goes.
This blog is crypto Kierkegaardian.
Yes actually in a former life I was actually an academic and I am a specialist in the Danish philosopher S. Kierkegaard 1813 -1855. Yes I know, I know, it's shocking I actually have some qualifications to my name, even given the terrible grammar and spelling on this blog!
Kierkegaard famously (famously that is, if your a researcher based in religious existentialism) berated the future for picking over the syllables of his works but not actually doing what he said. So I thought, instead of writing yet another book about him no one is ever going to read I would experiment with what he said...and a blog.
Kierkegaard believed that you had to deceive people into the truth. He believed you had to doubly reflect the truth, because you are communicating, not facts but capacity...you can live this life. How I interpret that, is that when you talk to someone you have to reflect not just God whom you are trying to communicate but the person you are communicating with as well. So he threw on a persona and wrote pseudonymously through it.
He claimed none of what he wrote was the truth. What I write is all mediated, through the pseudonymous way I write. But in true Kierkegaardian style reality has broken in.
So which of the truths would you like first?
I swore I'd never do this but since everything has completely sodding changed in the space of about 20 minutes I'm going to have to actually tell you. It's no good doing the same old stuff, I'm just going to have to let that go and admit the truth...
OK here goes.
This blog is crypto Kierkegaardian.
Yes actually in a former life I was actually an academic and I am a specialist in the Danish philosopher S. Kierkegaard 1813 -1855. Yes I know, I know, it's shocking I actually have some qualifications to my name, even given the terrible grammar and spelling on this blog!
Kierkegaard famously (famously that is, if your a researcher based in religious existentialism) berated the future for picking over the syllables of his works but not actually doing what he said. So I thought, instead of writing yet another book about him no one is ever going to read I would experiment with what he said...and a blog.
Kierkegaard believed that you had to deceive people into the truth. He believed you had to doubly reflect the truth, because you are communicating, not facts but capacity...you can live this life. How I interpret that, is that when you talk to someone you have to reflect not just God whom you are trying to communicate but the person you are communicating with as well. So he threw on a persona and wrote pseudonymously through it.
He claimed none of what he wrote was the truth. What I write is all mediated, through the pseudonymous way I write. But in true Kierkegaardian style reality has broken in.
So which of the truths would you like first?
Friday, November 20, 2009
Ultimatum [A Final Word]
The upbuilding that lies in the thought that in relation to God we are always in the wrong.
Opening prayer
Blessed are you O Lord, for you know you know what we are. You know that when we think we have something, we have nothing, when we think we are something we are nothing, when we behave like twats, you laugh. A deep, deep laugh that is full to overflowing with love for your children. You know that sometimes we think we understand, and yet only you know and are the source of all knowledge. Keep us ever humble and ever reliant upon you, our strength and our redeemer
“Blessed is he who takes no offence at me.”
Offence is a weapon. In fact it is the most powerful weapon in the hands of religious people. It has been used to shut down freedom of speech. It has closed plays, been used to remove stamps from circulation, it even once meant that a charity was forced to return money freely given to it.
Most of us when dealing with people of another faith would be horrified to learn that we have offended someone. And yet I find myself troubled by this weapon. Mostly because it is a weapon and I'm not sure religious people should be using weapons.
It seems that particularly since those of other faiths began using offence, we as Christians feel the need to also employ it. Look we love our God just as much as they love theirs. Look we are just as offended. Even to the extent of one person telling me that it was a shame that the Archbishop of Canterbury didn't issue death threats, since that meant people would do stuff to us they wouldn't do to the Muslims. He's weak is he? Well personally I quite like that about Rowan, he'd go down in my estimation if he called down a beheading on someone.
At the bottom of it, offence is a power game, we feel that someone is not taking us seriously enough, not treating us in a manner which we deserve, so we use our offence to haul them back into line.
For the 19th century philosopher Kierkegaard offence was a key category. For him the very message of Christianity was deeply offensive. Because at it's heart was a God who was hung naked on a cross and died. Who's mission was, in human terms a failure, and yet he found a country in which this was preached to the bourgeoisie and despite the implicit call to lay that aside and take up their cross and follow Jesus, despite the fact that their God was poor and dejected and failed, they listened to this and were no offended. Life was too comfortable for them.
Take away offence and we take away Christianity, he argued.
If we think that we must be protected that our faith is too important, that we are too important, to attack, we have forgotten who it is that we follow. I have publicly defended the right to offend whenever I have been asked, I believe that a right not to be offended is a dangerous thing not just for freedom of speech, but also for faith. Offence is sometimes a prick stinging us into the knowledge of the truth. Exposing us to how we appear to other people and not the image we cultivate. We forget, he suffered. We must suffer if we are to claim to be like him.
“Oh I know” says Jesus “It's a shame that you weren't there when I was crucified, so you stand in front and give a talk about how important your opinions are while I was doing it and then people could respect you. Hopefully that will take their mind of what is happening behind you”
Apparently this blog offends people, there have been complaints. I'm sorry if this blog does not conform to what you feel a minister should sound like.
Maybe the problem is with you.
Blessed is she who takes no offence with religious satire, for she knows what is really important.
With these words...this blog....at least in it's current form...
...ends.
(it'll restart tomorrow...in a new way)
Opening prayer
Blessed are you O Lord, for you know you know what we are. You know that when we think we have something, we have nothing, when we think we are something we are nothing, when we behave like twats, you laugh. A deep, deep laugh that is full to overflowing with love for your children. You know that sometimes we think we understand, and yet only you know and are the source of all knowledge. Keep us ever humble and ever reliant upon you, our strength and our redeemer
“Blessed is he who takes no offence at me.”
Offence is a weapon. In fact it is the most powerful weapon in the hands of religious people. It has been used to shut down freedom of speech. It has closed plays, been used to remove stamps from circulation, it even once meant that a charity was forced to return money freely given to it.
Most of us when dealing with people of another faith would be horrified to learn that we have offended someone. And yet I find myself troubled by this weapon. Mostly because it is a weapon and I'm not sure religious people should be using weapons.
It seems that particularly since those of other faiths began using offence, we as Christians feel the need to also employ it. Look we love our God just as much as they love theirs. Look we are just as offended. Even to the extent of one person telling me that it was a shame that the Archbishop of Canterbury didn't issue death threats, since that meant people would do stuff to us they wouldn't do to the Muslims. He's weak is he? Well personally I quite like that about Rowan, he'd go down in my estimation if he called down a beheading on someone.
At the bottom of it, offence is a power game, we feel that someone is not taking us seriously enough, not treating us in a manner which we deserve, so we use our offence to haul them back into line.
For the 19th century philosopher Kierkegaard offence was a key category. For him the very message of Christianity was deeply offensive. Because at it's heart was a God who was hung naked on a cross and died. Who's mission was, in human terms a failure, and yet he found a country in which this was preached to the bourgeoisie and despite the implicit call to lay that aside and take up their cross and follow Jesus, despite the fact that their God was poor and dejected and failed, they listened to this and were no offended. Life was too comfortable for them.
Take away offence and we take away Christianity, he argued.
If we think that we must be protected that our faith is too important, that we are too important, to attack, we have forgotten who it is that we follow. I have publicly defended the right to offend whenever I have been asked, I believe that a right not to be offended is a dangerous thing not just for freedom of speech, but also for faith. Offence is sometimes a prick stinging us into the knowledge of the truth. Exposing us to how we appear to other people and not the image we cultivate. We forget, he suffered. We must suffer if we are to claim to be like him.
“Oh I know” says Jesus “It's a shame that you weren't there when I was crucified, so you stand in front and give a talk about how important your opinions are while I was doing it and then people could respect you. Hopefully that will take their mind of what is happening behind you”
Apparently this blog offends people, there have been complaints. I'm sorry if this blog does not conform to what you feel a minister should sound like.
Maybe the problem is with you.
Blessed is she who takes no offence with religious satire, for she knows what is really important.
With these words...this blog....at least in it's current form...
...ends.
(it'll restart tomorrow...in a new way)
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Hello
Hello to all. And especially to you my new readers.
Yes, I spotted you just turned up. And there are, let's be honest, quite a lot of you.
I know. My hits have trebled in the last week, in fact I have had more hits so far this week than I usually get in a couple of weeks.
And I think I know why you are here...somehow you've found out what is about to happen. Your probably wondering how I am.
Thanks. I appreciate your concern. It's all about to get interesting around here.
Not in a good way.
But shhhhhhhh.....nothing is going to happen this week.
Or next week. Let's pretend everything is OK.
Yes, I spotted you just turned up. And there are, let's be honest, quite a lot of you.
I know. My hits have trebled in the last week, in fact I have had more hits so far this week than I usually get in a couple of weeks.
And I think I know why you are here...somehow you've found out what is about to happen. Your probably wondering how I am.
Thanks. I appreciate your concern. It's all about to get interesting around here.
Not in a good way.
But shhhhhhhh.....nothing is going to happen this week.
Or next week. Let's pretend everything is OK.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Whoooosh
The worst storm in years continues. The south coast isparticularly affected. It seems we are going to have 70mph winds and a chance of trees falling.
I'm doing that thing that old people do. I'm reminiscing. Is there anyone out there reading this blog who can actually remember 1987?
I got the day off school and me and Stephen Davies spent the day jumping up and down as seeing how far the wind would carry us. And my dad took me out in the car to see all the damage. Down my road every house had a wall at the end of the garden and every single one of them was down.
Ahhhh. Happy days.
Now where was I? Oh yeah 2009.
I'm doing that thing that old people do. I'm reminiscing. Is there anyone out there reading this blog who can actually remember 1987?
I got the day off school and me and Stephen Davies spent the day jumping up and down as seeing how far the wind would carry us. And my dad took me out in the car to see all the damage. Down my road every house had a wall at the end of the garden and every single one of them was down.
Ahhhh. Happy days.
Now where was I? Oh yeah 2009.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Drip Drip Drip Drop Drap
Today I went cycling.
In the rain.
It wasn't raining when I set off and it wasn't when I got home, it was the bit in between that was the problem.
I managed to get every item of clothing I was wearing wet. Not just wet, absolutely soaked.
Every single item of clothing I had on drenched through.
Just picture that all for a second....all of that clothing lined up on the side of the bath...or hanging on a clothes horse and dripping on the kitchen floor. See them in your minds eye drying off in front of the open fire. Imagine every item of clothing passing in front of you on a soaking wet 'Generation Game' style conveyor belt. Look there's my jumper...and jeans...picture them all...hang on, did you just shudder? What's that all about?
You know, you people really worry me.
In the rain.
It wasn't raining when I set off and it wasn't when I got home, it was the bit in between that was the problem.
I managed to get every item of clothing I was wearing wet. Not just wet, absolutely soaked.
Every single item of clothing I had on drenched through.
Just picture that all for a second....all of that clothing lined up on the side of the bath...or hanging on a clothes horse and dripping on the kitchen floor. See them in your minds eye drying off in front of the open fire. Imagine every item of clothing passing in front of you on a soaking wet 'Generation Game' style conveyor belt. Look there's my jumper...and jeans...picture them all...hang on, did you just shudder? What's that all about?
You know, you people really worry me.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Half and Half
You know what 50% of the chaplaincy computers are now running Ubuntu.
50% that is like half of them. I say like, I mean exactly.
We are I suspect the only department of the University running open source on that percentage.
Someone should be told. I say someone, I mean Mark Shuttleworth.
50% that is like half of them. I say like, I mean exactly.
We are I suspect the only department of the University running open source on that percentage.
Someone should be told. I say someone, I mean Mark Shuttleworth.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Tap Tap
While perusing the BBC news website when I noticed something.
All their volumes go up to 11.
Spinal Tap tribute, per chance?
I think the public has a right to know.
All their volumes go up to 11.
Spinal Tap tribute, per chance?
I think the public has a right to know.
Thursday, November 05, 2009
Enclave
Oh look a Church of England story in the news *yawn yawn*
Now that we are loosing so manyawkward reactionary misogynists fine, principled, servants of our Lord, into the Roman Catholic Church, I find myself wondering if we couldn't do some sort of a deal.
Could we not offer a home to some of the Roman Catholics, now we have room for them?
Of course such a move would have to be made in a spirit of ecumenism. We couldn't just ask them to convert. We need to make a space where they can keep elements of the Roman Catholic tradition alive. Perhaps somewhere where they can use the Roman Missal instead of authorised Anglican liturgy. The papacy is important to them so they would be encouraged to pray for him and give special regard to his teaching, while paying minimal lip service to their membership of the Church of England. Since the Roman Catholic Church doesn't accept women priests we should probably allow them to refuse the ministration of a woman. We could offer them their own parishes free from women. Let's not stop there, we could give them their own Bishops, just like the Pope is offering our guys. In face those Bishops could operate across diocesan boundaries. I think we should call them Provincial Bishopy Guests or...something...I can't quite think of the right title.
I think Ordinary-whatsit is a bit of a mouthful so we should we should call this something snappier 'Forward through the Faith'...or...something
You know what? I think this is a brilliant idea. This could even encourage those who are thinking of leaving. Reading the press it seems they are enthused by the Popes offer. This might be because, unlike before, they are now being offered a Church within a Church. So why don't we give them exactly that? When they see how generous we're being they're bound to stay.
Problem solved!
Anyone got Rowan's number so I can ring him with the good news?
Now that we are loosing so many
Could we not offer a home to some of the Roman Catholics, now we have room for them?
Of course such a move would have to be made in a spirit of ecumenism. We couldn't just ask them to convert. We need to make a space where they can keep elements of the Roman Catholic tradition alive. Perhaps somewhere where they can use the Roman Missal instead of authorised Anglican liturgy. The papacy is important to them so they would be encouraged to pray for him and give special regard to his teaching, while paying minimal lip service to their membership of the Church of England. Since the Roman Catholic Church doesn't accept women priests we should probably allow them to refuse the ministration of a woman. We could offer them their own parishes free from women. Let's not stop there, we could give them their own Bishops, just like the Pope is offering our guys. In face those Bishops could operate across diocesan boundaries. I think we should call them Provincial Bishopy Guests or...something...I can't quite think of the right title.
I think Ordinary-whatsit is a bit of a mouthful so we should we should call this something snappier 'Forward through the Faith'...or...something
You know what? I think this is a brilliant idea. This could even encourage those who are thinking of leaving. Reading the press it seems they are enthused by the Popes offer. This might be because, unlike before, they are now being offered a Church within a Church. So why don't we give them exactly that? When they see how generous we're being they're bound to stay.
Problem solved!
Anyone got Rowan's number so I can ring him with the good news?
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
Belief?
Apparently a man has won the right to take his employers to a tribunal because he claims he has been dismissed for his views.
He has argued that his views on climate change fall under under the Employment Equality (Religion and Belief) Regulations 2003. This covers beliefs that are philosophical as well as religious. His employers had argued that his views were political not philosophical.
Some religious groups are apparently unhappy. Philosophy isn't quite as good as religion, it seems. Obviously they've never read Hegel - although they might well have done but found the ideas of Kierkegaard more cogent.
Me...I'm overjoyed. Perhaps one day I can sue my employers for philosophical discrimination!
The possibilities are endless...unlike my career options.
He has argued that his views on climate change fall under under the Employment Equality (Religion and Belief) Regulations 2003. This covers beliefs that are philosophical as well as religious. His employers had argued that his views were political not philosophical.
Some religious groups are apparently unhappy. Philosophy isn't quite as good as religion, it seems. Obviously they've never read Hegel - although they might well have done but found the ideas of Kierkegaard more cogent.
Me...I'm overjoyed. Perhaps one day I can sue my employers for philosophical discrimination!
The possibilities are endless...unlike my career options.
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