Another gloriously news free day. I don't mean the real news, you know, Portsmouth going into administration and the MI5's dubious detainment record. No I mean me related news.
Nothing to report.
Except today I got myself a wage slip. 4 to go!
The following jobs are now available: Derby University, Nottingham Trent University, Keble College, Oxford and Queens College, Oxford.
One thing I noticed was that most of the jobs now advertised have interview dates in April. They say that once a Vicar gets a job it takes a minimum of three months to move and start work. All of which means if I don't stay here, a period of unemployment is inevitable.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Thursday, February 25, 2010
The trouble with trying to tell people what is going on
So, I thought to myself, the press (I say the press I mean the Southern Daily Echo and The Church Times) have gone away, I wonder if anyone wants to know what is happening next.
The problem there is I thought I could just tell the story as it unfolded. In a sense it was a bit like Round Ireland with a Fridge only less contrived and written-after-the-events-and-tidied-up-to-make-it-more-entertaining it might also involve an actual proper bloody fridge.
The problem though as I found out is that actually there isn't always much news, for example I thought by now there would have been quite a few meetings with the Diocese and all sorts of discussions. I would love to give you an idea of how fund raising is going. My conservative estimation is that we now have about £9000. Which is approaching a third of what we need, but I have no idea what the diocese have on the table. The trouble is, almost 3 months after the synod vote, there is still nothing definite on the table. That includes the option where I loose my job. Yes, that's right, I still haven't been given my formal notice, so I could well be staying.
Then there are the e-mails I have received, that start something like "look don't tell anyone that I told you this, but did you know there is a pot of money stashed here. Someone should probably point this out to the Bishop." Of course, I don't know if any of that is true...I suspect that any hidden pots of money have long since been identify and raided.
Then there is confidentiality. I have lost count of the amount of conversations in which people have told me stuff and and then said, but I need you to keep this to yourself.
Finally there is the left field stuff...which only one person knows about.
In fact there is so many layers of stuff going on, I would love to tell you but I can't. I can't because it's conjecture, or rumour, or confidential. I can't walk around with all that in my head and not have it explode. So I have told two people. One is very close to me the other is all the way away in Bethnall Green.
Basically currently MSD is talking to EFD about the possibility of JEC. Meanwhich DS is talking direct with CEFD about JFI. There are HR problems that ADS has identified which much be resolved before MCD and USC and BRM can sign off on JEC. MSD is not currently talking to AJS2BT but probably will in due course. VBP has spoken to DS and he says all is good to go. There have been e-mails from F G T and L. 24BR is on the table...and off again.
Meanwhile AL has contacted YMS and asked him to meet BTL and BB to discuss X. Which no one was expecting and indeed after that X has become Y and threatens to become Z which will shock everyone. If it ever happens. Which it probably wont. Meanwhile KAHOUAT is trying to hold everything together. TJSS is excited JLKS has very little of any intelligence to say and MDSS is upset.
All of which reminds me of another time in chaplaincy, and actually that all ended well, indeed A and C are getting married and as for B... well along came ECS#3172 and well, who knows where that will end. And even the D is getting some. So if God can solve all that back then...then he can sort this one out too. I promise you this I will tell you everything as soon as it is all sorted out. It should just be a blog post, but if it gets any more complicated then it will just have to be a book.
It wont involve a fridge.
It will involve a kettle.
The problem there is I thought I could just tell the story as it unfolded. In a sense it was a bit like Round Ireland with a Fridge only less contrived and written-after-the-events-and-tidied-up-to-make-it-more-entertaining it might also involve an actual proper bloody fridge.
The problem though as I found out is that actually there isn't always much news, for example I thought by now there would have been quite a few meetings with the Diocese and all sorts of discussions. I would love to give you an idea of how fund raising is going. My conservative estimation is that we now have about £9000. Which is approaching a third of what we need, but I have no idea what the diocese have on the table. The trouble is, almost 3 months after the synod vote, there is still nothing definite on the table. That includes the option where I loose my job. Yes, that's right, I still haven't been given my formal notice, so I could well be staying.
Then there are the e-mails I have received, that start something like "look don't tell anyone that I told you this, but did you know there is a pot of money stashed here. Someone should probably point this out to the Bishop." Of course, I don't know if any of that is true...I suspect that any hidden pots of money have long since been identify and raided.
Then there is confidentiality. I have lost count of the amount of conversations in which people have told me stuff and and then said, but I need you to keep this to yourself.
Finally there is the left field stuff...which only one person knows about.
In fact there is so many layers of stuff going on, I would love to tell you but I can't. I can't because it's conjecture, or rumour, or confidential. I can't walk around with all that in my head and not have it explode. So I have told two people. One is very close to me the other is all the way away in Bethnall Green.
Basically currently MSD is talking to EFD about the possibility of JEC. Meanwhich DS is talking direct with CEFD about JFI. There are HR problems that ADS has identified which much be resolved before MCD and USC and BRM can sign off on JEC. MSD is not currently talking to AJS2BT but probably will in due course. VBP has spoken to DS and he says all is good to go. There have been e-mails from F G T and L. 24BR is on the table...and off again.
Meanwhile AL has contacted YMS and asked him to meet BTL and BB to discuss X. Which no one was expecting and indeed after that X has become Y and threatens to become Z which will shock everyone. If it ever happens. Which it probably wont. Meanwhile KAHOUAT is trying to hold everything together. TJSS is excited JLKS has very little of any intelligence to say and MDSS is upset.
All of which reminds me of another time in chaplaincy, and actually that all ended well, indeed A and C are getting married and as for B... well along came ECS#3172 and well, who knows where that will end. And even the D is getting some. So if God can solve all that back then...then he can sort this one out too. I promise you this I will tell you everything as soon as it is all sorted out. It should just be a blog post, but if it gets any more complicated then it will just have to be a book.
It wont involve a fridge.
It will involve a kettle.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Conference
What is it about conferences (I am currently at the SCM conference in Derbyshire) that you end up staying up till 3am every night and then getting an average of 5 hours sleep a night?
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
This isn't the printer you're looking for
Tom was thinking out loud one day. He wondered why he was always going over to the print shop to run off all the lovely A3 colour posters we have been producing lately in chaplaincy.
Why don't we just buy an A3 printer?
Ah yes. We asked the chaplaincy secretary to look into it and she called isolutions and they said "Yar matey there be one right here" and sent it over.
And here it is in my office.
BLOODY HELL! All I wanted was a printer and they seem to have sent me R2 chuffing D2! Look at the size of that thing! It's supposed to hold paper not be a suitable hiding place for a small child. We have University security patrolling the campus at night to keep the building secure from burglars, now we are going to have to tell them to look out for Jawas as well. Not to mention the fact that it sits taking up an unfeasibly large quantity of space in my office.
Seriously it's huge. You probably can't tell that from the pictures so here is one I took with a passing Ewok for comparison
If I come in tomorrow and find a protocol droid I'm going to complain to highest authorities. I mean either Don Nutbeam or George Lucas.
Why don't we just buy an A3 printer?
Ah yes. We asked the chaplaincy secretary to look into it and she called isolutions and they said "Yar matey there be one right here" and sent it over.
And here it is in my office.
BLOODY HELL! All I wanted was a printer and they seem to have sent me R2 chuffing D2! Look at the size of that thing! It's supposed to hold paper not be a suitable hiding place for a small child. We have University security patrolling the campus at night to keep the building secure from burglars, now we are going to have to tell them to look out for Jawas as well. Not to mention the fact that it sits taking up an unfeasibly large quantity of space in my office.
Seriously it's huge. You probably can't tell that from the pictures so here is one I took with a passing Ewok for comparison
If I come in tomorrow and find a protocol droid I'm going to complain to highest authorities. I mean either Don Nutbeam or George Lucas.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Lent with interest
It is Ash Wednesday in a couple of days time. Tomorrow the chaplaincy is having it's annual pancake party. Which this year is a fund raising event for chaplaincy.
But what to do about Lent, I ask myself. Mostly because I don't like Lent. I can see no reason for being miserable for 5 weeks, especially when we don't get to do all of Lent in chaplaincy.
I usually don't give anything up for Lent, although one year I gave up wearing yellow, which was almost impossible.
I decided to put together a list of things to give up. I came up with a couple and then I asked various students for suggestions and then I had quite a long list:
1) Chocolate
2) Fudge
3) Talking about sex
4) Pessimism
5) Behaving inappropriately
6) My job
7) Open source software
8) Penitence
9) Lent
10) Your mum
11) Tea
12) Facebook
13) Blogging
14) BBC Iplayer
So even though making lists is a symptom of mental illness, there's only one thing to do with a list like that. Internet it's over to you. All on your keypads and........vote now!
But what to do about Lent, I ask myself. Mostly because I don't like Lent. I can see no reason for being miserable for 5 weeks, especially when we don't get to do all of Lent in chaplaincy.
I usually don't give anything up for Lent, although one year I gave up wearing yellow, which was almost impossible.
I decided to put together a list of things to give up. I came up with a couple and then I asked various students for suggestions and then I had quite a long list:
1) Chocolate
2) Fudge
3) Talking about sex
4) Pessimism
5) Behaving inappropriately
6) My job
7) Open source software
8) Penitence
9) Lent
10) Your mum
11) Tea
12) Facebook
13) Blogging
14) BBC Iplayer
So even though making lists is a symptom of mental illness, there's only one thing to do with a list like that. Internet it's over to you. All on your keypads and........vote now!
Friday, February 12, 2010
The Numbers Game
The Methodist Church is offering to join the Church of England.
Forward in Faith are threatening to leave.
Let's do the Maths.
Number of Forward in Faith parishes in the entire Diocese of Winchester: 4
Number of Methodist Churches just in Southampton: 6
Come on Beney we need that ordinariate.
Forward in Faith are threatening to leave.
Let's do the Maths.
Number of Forward in Faith parishes in the entire Diocese of Winchester: 4
Number of Methodist Churches just in Southampton: 6
Come on Beney we need that ordinariate.
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
The future
Yep...well now I'm off on a residential course. For the first time in 5 years I am going to miss Wednesday communion.
What am I going to learn I hear you cry.
Well it is a course run by the Diocese of Winchester, which is supposed to help me plan the next stage of my ministry. I am supposed to take stock and then plan a project which I will do until September.
Obviously this course doesn't work if you are about to leave your job.
Sometimes the left hand lets the right hand know what it is doing. Other times it just ignores it.
What am I going to learn I hear you cry.
Well it is a course run by the Diocese of Winchester, which is supposed to help me plan the next stage of my ministry. I am supposed to take stock and then plan a project which I will do until September.
Obviously this course doesn't work if you are about to leave your job.
Sometimes the left hand lets the right hand know what it is doing. Other times it just ignores it.
Monday, February 08, 2010
Whoops!
Today I have:
1) Corrupted a student (male).
2) Come within a hairs breath of being kicked off campus and had to explain myself to the head of University security.
3) Used up an entire role of electrical tape.
4) Run with scissors.
And the day is only an hour and a half old.
1) Corrupted a student (male).
2) Come within a hairs breath of being kicked off campus and had to explain myself to the head of University security.
3) Used up an entire role of electrical tape.
4) Run with scissors.
And the day is only an hour and a half old.
Friday, February 05, 2010
Speaking of surreal
When I have students who are a bit low. I encourage them to try to get early nights.
The reason for this is simple. If you end up doing the whole 'sleepless' nights thing, this can actually lead to you having less contact with the world. If you sit there alone at 2:21 am while he rest of the world sleeps around you, you can end up feeling entirely disconnected and that's not good for your mental state.
However I have found another solution to early nights: Spend the early hours of the morning listening to the Chris Evans breakfast show. Get ready for the new day that has just passed before heading off to bed at 4am (after all you're not going to be there to hear it live!) and the whole thing takes on a happy-yay-breakfast-almost-drug-induced surreal quality to it. And I should know, I've eaten breakfast on more than one occasion.
On today's show Chris meets the CEO of the Deed Poll people.
Apparently he's never changed his name and his favourite deed poll of all time is the bloke who changed his name to Yellow Rat Foxy Squirrel Fairy Diddle.
Which of course means I need to think of something more for my name. I had felt that the whole colour thing would mean that I wouldn't need a surname, but clearly people could mistake me for Mr Rat Foxy Squirrel Fairy Diddle.
Perhaps the internet could assist me with suggestions of an appropriate second name.
The reason for this is simple. If you end up doing the whole 'sleepless' nights thing, this can actually lead to you having less contact with the world. If you sit there alone at 2:21 am while he rest of the world sleeps around you, you can end up feeling entirely disconnected and that's not good for your mental state.
However I have found another solution to early nights: Spend the early hours of the morning listening to the Chris Evans breakfast show. Get ready for the new day that has just passed before heading off to bed at 4am (after all you're not going to be there to hear it live!) and the whole thing takes on a happy-yay-breakfast-almost-drug-induced surreal quality to it. And I should know, I've eaten breakfast on more than one occasion.
On today's show Chris meets the CEO of the Deed Poll people.
Apparently he's never changed his name and his favourite deed poll of all time is the bloke who changed his name to Yellow Rat Foxy Squirrel Fairy Diddle.
Which of course means I need to think of something more for my name. I had felt that the whole colour thing would mean that I wouldn't need a surname, but clearly people could mistake me for Mr Rat Foxy Squirrel Fairy Diddle.
Perhaps the internet could assist me with suggestions of an appropriate second name.
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
Concrete cows
Back in Soton. That was boring! Concrete cows don't get any more interesting.
Right, where was I?
Oh yeah, Giraffe.
Right, where was I?
Oh yeah, Giraffe.
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