State of play

It is now four months since the vote and it seems reasonable to give an update to the facts as I understand them.

The Diocese are now exploring with the Free Churches (Methodist, URC and Baptist) the possibility of merging the two posts, since I used to have a part time colleague, and there is currently no one in that post.

However although it now seems this is the only game in town no formal decision to create this post has been taken. The question remains purely financial, I would imagine. So four months on from the decision to seek alternative funding for my post we are no further forward. Indeed today I got my next pay slip leaving me with just three to go.

Once the decision has been taken to create the post there must be an ecumenical agreement, and then it must be advertised and interviewed. That could take a while.

As for me, I am now off work. I hope I will be well enough to start the new term in just over two and a half weeks.

Darkness

They say it is always darkest before dawn...but surely it is always darkest half way through the night.

Having returned from a recent trip, which did not yield the way out I wanted, it seems pretty dark.

It is not all bad, it's never all bad, God seems to keep my head just above water, I seem to have a Fairy God-Bishop somewhere out there in the Church of England.

Pray he can work some magic!!!!

Start menu evny

Ring Ring, Ring Ring

Me: Hello

Her: Ah, Hello am I speaking to the owner of the telephone line.

Me: Well I think that technically the company owns the telephone line and I rent it.

Her: Ah, yes, so you are the owner of this line.

Me: Hmmmm...well you obviously didn't understand that, so I'll go with yes.

Her: Good, I am Sheila, and I need to speak to you about your computer.

Me: That's an unusual name for someone from the Indian subcontinent, I think.

Her: I am sorry to tell you that we have a report that your computer has been infected with many viruses

Me: Oh...who made this report?

Her: What we find sir, is that these viruses slow your computer down quite a bit.

Me: Oh my, how terrible. Could that happen without me knowing?

Her: Oh yes sir, we are now contacting you to sort out this problem.

Me: Oh that's so kind of you, we must sort it out immediately.

Her: OK can you start your computer.

Me: OK I'll do that......just booting now....OK I'm logged in.

Her: Now sir, make sure all your programmes are shut down and windows closed.

Me: Yes it's chilly today! OK now what?

Her: You need to press the Start Button.

Me: The what?

Her: The Start Button.

Me: No, you've lost me.

Her: The start Button

Me: Yeah, still not getting it.

Her: Sir, the START BUTTON.

Me: Still don't get what you want me to do.

Her: OK, just press the start button.

Me: Where's that?

Her: On your screen.

Me: Oh the screen. Nope, can't see it.

Her: Ok, I need you to look at your screen, extreme bottom left, there is a Start Button.

Me: No, nothing there.

Her: It's on your screen. You need to press it to bring up the menus.

Me: No there is nothing there.

Her: OK sir, I think you're not understanding, at the bottom of your screen is the bar and at the extreme left of that is your start menu. Have you used a computer before?

Me: Yes, I have, hang on... I'm looking... no, still nothing.

Her: The task bar, sir it's like a strip across the screen.

Me: The task bar? Oh yes.

Her: Can you see it?

Me: No.

Her: What?!?

Me: I took it off.

Her: You can't do that, sir.

Me: I have another bar at the top of the screen, do you want to use that one?

Her: OK you have moved your task bar to the top of the screen, can you press the start button?

Me: No...there isn't one. I have 'Applications', 'Places' and 'System'. Any good?

Her: You have this on your bar, sir?

Me: Yes together with the time and date, my pigeon status, a 'shut down' icon and some googly eyes that follow my mouse around the screen.

Her: Sir, are you actually using Windows?

Me: Windows? Hell no! I'm using something much better called Linux. Almost impossible to get a virus on it.

Her: We only work with Windows.

Me: I know and that means it's going to be quite impossible to scam me today due to my operating system being incompatible with what ever mal ware you were hoping to load onto it. So we may as well talk about something else.... What are you wearing?

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Me: Hello? Hello?

Point of no return

It seems that there is now money on the table and the possibility of a post existing in this place for the next academic year.

I would love to tell you exactly why and how and who it involves, but I can't.

I would also love to tell you that there is some certainty for me and the chaplaincy now, but there isn't. I could still loose my job in June, and I have bills to pay in July and no means of doing that.

Or there could be a chaplaincy next year with someone else doing the job.

I made a promise to the students and to everyone else that I would stay no matter what, but if there is no chaplaincy or there is someone else doing my job then staying seems pointless and indeed in the case of someone else in post it would be counter productive. One thing I am certain of is that if I am not paid I will not be allowed to stay.

So today I applied for another job in Derby Diocese. It does not feel good. It feels like I am giving up. I'm not, in fact quite the opposite, I still passionately believe that God has called me here. I still passionately believe that God is not done with this chaplaincy.

But what else do I do?

I ran down the road at 1am

I did it. After almost 20 years of waiting and wanting, I finally did it. I feel giddy, I feel like a child, I feel like a student who has just been given a first, I feel like a gay man who has been in the closet for years and then finally given in and snogged the face off some beefy guy, I feel like footballer who has just scored from his own half....and I feel so alive.

I feel like me, totally and completely me and I realise how few people know what I'm really like because I didn't know either.

The weight of responsibility falls off me. And for one fleeting moment, I feel happy.

Who's there?

You remember that door?

Well I'm going through it.

Brrrrrrrrrrrr

Good job he's wearing a hat then

Of course only people involved in chaplaincy will get this

So I said

and

But Rob reckoned

and Peter prefered

And then I thought

Which then meant

There was some debate about

before we settled on

and everyone agreed on

Quite a lot of people said

I told one person that I thought if

then

and I can't remember if they replied

or

Which prompted someone to suggest

which I said, naturally implies

Which was unanimously rejected in favour of

At which point I decided the whole star trek comparisons was just pointless.


Although that could explain why I am being deactivated in the summer when the rest of the crew is on holiday.

In other news...

...7 of 9 assimilates ECS Drone.

And yes I'm so going to get slapped for that one tomorrow. Hard. And I'm going to deserve it!



Says it all really!



Speaking of facebook relationship status (as we were) this made me smile.

In case you are wondering

Billy Fitz is your new SUSU president.

Charlotte Woods is VP Media.

Chris Pidge is the VP Ed and Rep.

Emily Rees is the VP Welfare blokette.

and some really big tall guy is the AU Pres.

Oh yes and after years and years of standing Ron finally won something.

R.O.N. is now WSA President. Whoops!

Once again Dark Side Chaplaincy has the news before susu.org :P